The Heart of the Matter
by LindaInDC
Summary: The road to love was never easy, especially for Kate Beckett and Richard Castle. Now, a completely unexpected development occurs. Will this give them the push they need, or end things once and for all, before they even have a chance to begin? Set mid/late S4.
1. Chapter 1

**The Heart of the Matter**

by LindaInDC

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction based on Castle, the ABC show, also owned by Andrew W. Marlowe and other cool, brilliant people. I do not own the characters, but have written this work with no intent to gain profit from it. It is for reading enjoyment only. The story, names and places are fictional, and any similarities to real persons, places and events are purely coincidental. Be warned now, that there are times when the good folks in the story get carried away and have a case of potty mouth, lol. Please sit back and enjoy the story. Feedback, follows and comments are welcomed. Attacks are not, thanks.

Summary: The road to love was never easy, especially for Kate Beckett and Richard Castle. Now, a completely unexpected development occurs. Will this give them the push they need, or end things once and for all, before they even have a chance to begin?

NOTE: First off, a big note of thanks to Sass, my second set of clinical eyes and a great person to bounce theories off of to get this story right. An enormous thank you to Deana, who over latte one chilly night in NYC, helped me work through challenges that lit the flame of inspiration once again. Secondly, Internal dialogue is in _**bold italics**_ , for distinction between spoken dialogue. This is AU, a bit angsty and not a "happy all the time" tale. But know this: I AM A SHIPPER, and since I'm playing with this awesome couple, anyway, I thought I would disclose that for anyone that wants to bash me based on where a chapter or so leave off. Wait until the end, you might like where we end up. ;)

 **Chapter One**

 _ **Satin. Pure pleasure…sensual in every way. Nothing feels quite like satin when warmed by human flesh beneath it.**_

Ever the writer, these words gently flowed through Rick Castle's mind, despite sleep still having a hold on his brain, with the help of fermented bliss from the night before. Slowly, the tendrils of this drunken sleep loosening, he began to drift upward, ever slowly toward wakefulness.

The blissfulness of sleep ended abruptly when faced with the harsh reality of a hangover. Everything hurts, even his eyelashes. Scanning his memory for answers as to the reason for this hangover, Rick recalled little, but a thought did flood through his mind.

 _ **God, so much booze. Who thought Tequila that went down that smoothly could be this rough on me now?**_

The thought left him quickly, and the pain was not so bad…yet. Although he suspected that opening his eyes would be a whole new adventure in pain. His thoughts once again directed to the feel of delicate satin running along his fingers, as he continued to slowly stoke up and down along the lines of this heavenly surface. Intrigued as to what he was stroking allowed his conscious mind to drift up slowly towards a more wakeful place. The thought permeated his booze soaked brain.

 **I** _ **f only I could see what this is…without my head killing me.**_

The thought was a good start, but still his eyes remained closed, his fingers continuing to have a mind of their own, stroking along the seam in the satin, then dipping onto curves that he made out to be a waist. His fingers progressed onward to stroke evenly along and soon thereafter discovered the swell of a hip, then down to the silky skin that could only be a leg. He found the skin to be warm, tempting and it called to him, like a siren's song. The satin slipped away from the fingers of his left hand as he moved them, providing the information that this was in all likelihood, a satin sheet. He and his mysterious bed mate were, by the stroke of the satin and the feel of one another, quite naked, it seemed. Rick fought to swim closer towards being fully awake and able to open his eyes, but the after effects of the Tequila made him also want to stay right where he was.

 _ **But where exactly was that?**_

The thought flashed through his head, unbidden. Intrigued, he tried again to scan his memory for the source of this amazing sensual experience. _**Nothing.**_ His brain supplied. No memory of who this could possibly be.

 _ **OK, Ricky…time to open the eyes and solve this little mystery…hopefully. That is, if I know her name. God, what if it's a total stranger? How long has it been since I've done that?**_

Rick allowed himself a moment of panic at that thought. However, he knew the answer. It had been a couple years or more. He didn't have that desire to live up to the page six persona any longer. Not since…Kate. His heart sank at the thought of doing anything that would jeopardize their…what ever it was that they had. His mind went back to the to the beautiful detective, Kate Beckett. Muse..friend…seeker of justice…and the owner of his heart.

If only she knew it. If only he knew she could remember it.

His mind flooded with images and emotions toward the beautiful woman, but another voice in his head reminded him of the dilemma he was currently facing. His inner dialogue was on a mission, and not letting up, it seemed.

 _ **OK, you can't put this off any longer. Time to own up to whatever you've done, Ricky**_.

Opening his eyes slowly, Richard Castle experienced the seventh level of Hell. Pain shot like lasers into his eye sockets, ripping into his brain and obliterating it straight away. It was intolerable, and he felt a sudden onset of nausea hit his stomach for just a moment before pulling back in intensity, much to his relief. The lights were too bright, he could make out only fuzzy shapes at that point, and even colors were blown out as white, initially. He paused for a couple seconds, squinting to allow his eyes time to adjust to the light and to get a grip on the searing pain that was coursing through his skull.

The bright sunshine blazing through the window facing him only added to the torture. He sought to cover his eyes with both hands, however, the sleeping body currently next to him had taken residence on his lower right arm. He raised his free hand, in order to get it out far enough to block as much of the sun as possible, giving him a moment to better focus and not have to stare directly into the sun.

Moving his hand, a glint of light startled him momentarily. "What the…" He said aloud, his first spoken words of the day. Holding his left arm out further away from his face and slightly over to the side, he once again caught a glimpse at a glint coming from his hand. Rick squinted his eyes, as if trying to reset his vision, allowing for a moment before opening them again. It was still there.

A simple platinum band.

"Holy…" He couldn't complete the sentence, his surprise getting the better of him. Rick's heart rate sped up considerably with panic. He was fully awake now, the hangover the least of his concerns at the moment. The only thoughts in his mind were _**What happened? Was this for real?**_

In a panic, he looked around the room for more clues, as he began blinking wildly to accept the offending light into his vision. Shifting his gaze to the room, he did not recognize the furniture. _**Must be a hotel, then. A nice one, at least.**_ He internally deduced, judging from the fancier, yet institutionalized decor he encountered in the room. Glancing over to the bedside table on his side, he spotted a stiff white page leaned up against the lamp. He could not make out the smaller print at this angle, but the large bold script printed near the top of the document further set his heart rate into overdrive.

 **~Certificate of Marriage~**

This time, his brain had no trouble coming up with words. "Holy shit! I'm married? How? Who?"

His ran his left hand through his hair, trying to help reset his thoughts. He began to play what he could recall from earlier the night before back in his head. Things got pretty cloudy after meeting up with Kate and the guys, as they decided to celebrate closing a high profile case in an uptown hotel bar. He could remember the guys leaving, Ryan in a hurry to see Jenny, and Esposito off to meet up with Lanie, although he would never admit it to anyone. He could recall that Kate was still in the mood to celebrate, and she had asked him if he was willing to try out a new Tequila that she had recently been introduced to at a party. She told him it was like velvet. It really was.

 _ **So what happened to Kate? Was she at the wedding?**_

His heart lurched, as well as his stomach at the thought of hurting her, once the alcohol had worn off, and he would have to face the consequences that he may have just killed any chances of a future with his muse, once and for all. He began to mentally kick himself at his lack of self control and self respect.

Leaning more closely over to the woman's side of the bed, he reached down, grabbing her left hand by the wrist, lifting it up into the air, in an attempt to get it into his line of vision. His actions were interrupted by a slow groan of his bed mate, as his "bride" slowly made her ascent towards wakefulness, thanks to the tugging of her arm. Grasping the delicate wrist, he lifted the hand into the air, stopping when the ring finger reached his plane of vision.

He spied a delicate platinum band and a sizable diamond resting just above it, nestled onto the left ring finger of his bed mate-cum-wife's left hand. Almost in shock, Rick let the delicate hand slip from his grasp, back onto the bed beneath it, the arm slapping the mattress with a thud. This observation proved to him that this was indeed his bride, despite his hopes of this all being some sick, cruel joke.

His return to self-flagellation was cut short immediately at what he heard at that moment.

"Castle? What happened, where are we?" The groggy, yet seemingly familiar voice called to him, as lost as he was upon wakefulness.

In a near frenzied state, he turned his attention back to his somehow still-drowsy bed mate. His arm pulled out from under the previously sleeping woman, and the rush of blood caused his arm to surge momentarily with pain and the tingly nerve sensation caused by lack of blood flow. Ignoring it, he reached over and turned the mysterious woman to face him, the sheets doing little to cover her nakedness, as they slid to her waist. As if in slow motion, she pawed at the cover, but Rick put his arm over hers to get a better look at her face.

It was none other than Kate Beckett.

"Holy Shit!" Came his exclamation once again.

"Castle, why do you keep saying that?" Kate asked, her mind going through the same painful experience that her bed mate had just encountered only moments before.

Rick then noticed her sheet and looked away, ever the gentleman. "Kate, the sheet."

Kate took an extra moment, then realized he was trying to let her know she was exposed. Pulling the sheet up and tucking it under her arms, she said, "Thanks." Pausing to try and gather her words, she continued, "Castle, what are we doing here?"

Rick was flummoxed. The only thing he could think of to put into words at that moment, was "Look." He added to the command by pointing to his left ring finger and then pointing to her left hand. It took a second before she realized that he was indicating that she should look at her own hand. Lifting up her left hand, she too, was met with her own set of wedding rings. Her mouth dropped open in what Rick assumed to be shock.

"Holy Shit!" Kate said roughly, her own thoughts now in perfect alignment with the writer's.

Rick's shocked face looked at her in agreement. "Right?"

Kate tried to rapidly collect her thoughts. After a moment, she opened her mouth, moving her lips a couple of times, as if loosening them to work.

"When did this…" She asked, surprise filling her voice.

"I don't know."

"How did we…"

"Not sure of that either."

"But this can't be…"

"I don't know, but I think it is."

"But there is no way that we…" Kate tried to plod along in this half-formed discussion, until Rick once again supplied supporting information. "Kate…I think you need to see this. Here." He then reached over to the bedside table, grabbed the marriage license, and offered it to her.

Kate took the proffered document in hand carefully and read it as intently as one could when their eyes felt like they were full of broken glass. All the names were right, the date was right and they even signed it, along with an officiant of some sort. In all appearances, it seemed to be legal and valid.

Rick took in her look of shock, and as he assumed that it likely had matched his own, said, "Kate, for all intents and purposes, at least as it looks right now, we are legally married."

Kate said nothing right away, but glanced down at her lack of clothing, and then further down to her wedding rings once again. As if looking at it over again would change the outcome, she looked once again over to his ring, noting that they were a matching set. It was true. They really were married, or so it seemed. The well-used words coming forth from her mouth were the only ones that she or he could apparently muster at this development.

"Holy Shit!"

* * *

 **To be continued….**

Thanks for taking the time to read this start of my story. I'm rating it as a "T", but that is mainly due to the small amount of language. Let me know as we go along, if you think that rating is too high. I figured I would err on the side of caution. The story is already finished, and I hope to update at least once a week, sooner, if the opportunity arises. As I said before, feedback, follows, favorites and comments are welcomed. Attacks are not. Thank you in advance for letting me know how you like this story.


	2. Chapter 2

**The Heart of the Matter**

by LindaInDC

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction based on Castle, the ABC show, also owned by Andrew W. Marlowe and other cool, brilliant people. I do not own the characters, but have written this work with no intent to gain profit from it. It is for reading enjoyment only. The story, names and places are fictional, and any similarities to real persons, places and events are purely coincidental.

NOTE: I am bowled over by the response that chapter one received. You all are amazing! I think I replied to everyone that left a review. Thank you so much for sharing your comments with me. I hope that you enjoy this update, and will consider sending favorites, follows and reviews my way. Big thanks to COBigBlueBox for helping me avert a grammatical crisis in my writing! Again, _**bold italics**_ mean inner dialogue.

* * *

 **Chapter Two**

Rick slid over to the edge of the bed, reaching for his wallet, which was still in his pants. He realized that he just gave Kate a free look at his ass, when the cool air of the room hit his naked backside. He quickly retrieved his pants, grabbed his wallet and made sure that he was covered by as large a portion of the sheet that he could get, without exposing his manhood to his bed mate.

"I'm hoping that I can find a receipt or something that will tell us what happened," Rick explained, as Kate looked at his odd motions. Retrieving a small scrap of paper from the cash pocket of his wallet, he tried to squint at the small print on the ticket, but his hang-over riddled eyes prevented it.

The detective could tell he was struggling unsuccessfully. Rather than waiting for him to admit his shortcomings, she extended her hand in his direction. "Rick, can I try?"

The writer thought for a second to refuse, but curiosity overrode his pride. He handed the small scrap of paper over to Kate, who took it with a small smile. The print was faint and tiny, but she was able to read it.

"What the hell is 'The Hitching Post'?" she asked rhetorically.

Rick grabbed his phone and began to search the Internet for clues. The search results made the situation again seem all the more real. "It's…Kate, it's a pop-up wedding chapel."

The shocked expression on her face matched his own. This was becoming too real, all of a sudden. They really were married. Cop reflexes and instinct pushed Kate to reach over and snag the phone receiver beside the bed. Pressing '0', she waited for the voice on the other end to pick up.

"Front desk, this is Tiffany. How may I help you?" The voice on the other end was far too perky for her liking. The saccharine-laced tones rolled through Kate's ears like loose gravel in an empty cement mixer. She cringed.

"Yes, can you please tell me the name of this hotel?" Kate asked of the chipper desk person.

"Yes, Mrs. Castle. This is the Royal Cheverly Hotel. You are in the honeymoon suite." Looking around, it became apparent that this was indeed the honeymoon suite; the flowers, the bottle of champagne, and the large "I do" in gold leaf on a soft mural on the far wall, near the balcony, made it glaringly obvious to her.

 ** _Good god_. **

"Is everything to your liking? Is there anything that I can get you?" The young girl offered, in a tone of voice that some breeds of small animals would have mistaken for a shrill whistle.

"A time machine," Kate replied, sarcasm seeping though unbidden.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Castle?" Perky Tiffany queried.

Kate realized that she hadn't just thought that, but had actually spoken it aloud, and tried to cover it. "Um…coffee for two, please. And a bottle of Aspirin and a couple of large bottles of water."

Glancing down, Kate realized that the time was 7:15 AM. _**God, it was too early**_.

"Right away, ma'am. Is there anything else I can do for you, Mrs. Castle?"

Kate mentally shook her herself at the new name. "Yes," she said as she lifted up the paper. "Can you tell me where we are in relation to a wedding chapel called 'The Hitching Post'?"

"Oh, yes ma'am. Actually, it's here. Well, for a few more days, anyway," explained Tiffany. "We have it on our rooftop. I believe that is where you and Mr. Castle were married. It must have been beautiful, ma'am." The young desk clerk sighed, the sound grating Kate's nerves as she heard the words screeching into her head.

Kate tried to keep the conversation on track. "Can you have the manager call us when he or she arrives?"

She swore she could hear the young girl's head nodding, "Oh yes, ma'am! Mr. Reynolds will be in by 9 AM. I'll have him call you as soon as he gets in."

"Thank you." Kate said, as she hung up the phone. Her head pounding, she took a moment to pinch the bridge of her nose before relaying the information she had just learned.

Turning back around, the detective was greeted by the questioning eyes of her partner, her friend, her…husband? The word seemed foreign. She noticed that it did not, however, seem wrong.

"Kate?" Rick prompted, jolting her inner dialogue back on line. She tucked that in the back of her mind for later analysis.

"Oh, sorry. Um, we have coffee, Aspirin and water on the way. The manager gets in by 9 and will call us. And the chapel where we," Kate paused, unable to use the word, "married" to describe what happened. "Where the ceremony was held is in the hotel." Kate said, doing her best to keep her voice normal.

"Why don't you go ahead and shower? I'll go after you get out, so I can get the door for room service," Rick offered, smiling a modest smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Okay," Kate replied, as she reached to take the sheet. Rick's eyes widened, as he suddenly realized that he was about to be quite exposed. He reached back quickly, covering himself with a pillow across his lap. His eyes followed his partner, as she made her way out of the bed and across in front of him toward the shower. The sheet loosely clung to her arms and shoulders, and flowed behind her, as she strode awkwardly towards the shower to clean up, picking up her clothing as she went. The visual inspection revealed to the writer that she had several love bites on her neck, under her ears, and he even spotted a couple on her upper chest as she passed in front of the bed, as well. Looking down, he inventoried a series of similar markings on his own body, including a couple on his upper thighs and abdomen. Judging by the stinging sensation on his back, he guessed he was also sporting scratches from Kate's fingernails as a souvenir of their shared passion. The sheets were torn off the bed, and were also messy with proof of the conjugal events, as well. They were drunk, but apparently not too drunk to consummate this marriage.

"'Have another drink of this one, Beckett, it's so smooth' he said. 'You won't get too drunk, I promise' he said", Kate muttered, as she ambled into the shower after dropping the sheet to the floor. She sighed in relief at the relaxation that the hot water and steam began to cause in her achy muscles. Once she could get the pounding in her head to stop, she would almost feel human again. Bathing quickly, she shut off the spray and grabbed one of the towels on the rack at the end of the shower stall. As she dried off, she made note of the many hickeys she found on her body - several on her neck, one on her left breast, two or three on both of her upper thighs. In addition, she was a little sore between her legs, and determined that it must be from sex with Castle. Multiple times.

 _ **Did we even use a condom?**_ The question flooded her brain, but she shook it off, remembering that she was on the pill. _**Thank goodness I never skip them.**_

The knock at the hotel door shook her from her thoughts. Drying quickly, she slid her arms into one of the two white, fluffy robes that the hotel had provided. As the door slid closed, she stepped out into the room.

Rick turned, hearing her steps. "Hey, room service is here," He greeted her, holding out two Aspirins and a glass of water. He had managed to find his pants before the items arrived.

"Thanks," Kate said as she slid closer and took the proffered items from the writer. Ingesting them quickly, she then reached for a cup of coffee and began to sip it, desperate to get caffeine in her system as soon as possible.

"Kate, about this- what should we do?" Rick asked as he watched his partner in her wake up ritual.

Kate paused, and then replied, "Well, first off we talk to the manager and see what happened. There may be a chance it's not even legal, and if so, we don't need to do anything."

That statement actually caused a beat of disappointment in Rick. "Okay, so let's go see. Finish up - I'm going to jump in the shower," Rick offered, doing his best to keep the disappointment from his voice as he strode past her. He had been in love with his partner for as long as he could recall. It was becoming more difficult to hide that from her as time went on.

####

Kate and Rick were downstairs in the lobby shortly after the call from the hotel manager. They were greeted by a short, stocky man in a midnight blue suit. He appeared to be in his mid fifties, and looked ever the ex-military man, complete with a greying marine corps buzz cut and perfect posture.

"Mr. and Mrs. Castle, I'm the hotel manager, Mark Reynolds. How may I be of service to you?"

Rick was the first to speak. "Mr. Reynolds, it seems that we were married here last evening-"

"Oh yes, it's true," Reynolds interrupted. "As a matter of fact, if you recall, I was actually one of your witnesses. You were so adamant that you had to marry Ms. Beckett immediately."

"So, I insisted?" Rick queried as he nervously tugged at his collar, his neck suddenly too tight for his shirt.

"Well, no. It was both of you, actually," the manager stated, his face looking a little star struck as he recalled the events. "Mrs. Castle said that she was so crazy in love with you, that she couldn't live another day without you. It was all so very romantic. I was quite moved."

Both Kate and Rick paused a moment before answering. They were both shocked at how easily those words were spoken, once inhibition was out of the way.

Kate recovered first. "Mr. Reynolds, surely this can't be legal. Even if the ceremony was on the up and up, the paperwork has to be signed and filed." Her mind, although foggy, recalled as much.

"Oh that's correct. The ceremony itself doesn't make it legal," the manager supplied. Kate relaxed slightly at the answer, until the man continued speaking. "Which was why you and Mr. Castle insisted that the paperwork be sent to the courthouse right after the ceremony. I had it picked up by courier immediately, per your request."

Kate's expression shifted into flummoxed, while Rick's smile filled his face completely. He was relieved, but as he looked to his partner, he felt hurt at the look of disappointment on her face. He knew that if it was legal, somehow he could get her to accept it. He just had to. The writer hoped he could convince her that they were worth a chance together.

The manager, seeing that they were not quite satisfied, continued, "The Hitching Post is a pop-up wedding chapel, and they include a menu of the types of services available for prospective customers. We invited them to set up on top of our hotel to help gain some positive press about the ceremonies, and to help boost business here as a honeymoon destination. As for your wedding, you asked for the entire package. Seeing as how Mr. Castle is a celebrity, I supervised the services and the coordination personally. I even asked for the ceremony to be videotaped and photographed, to help record your special day. Would you care to see the video?"

Rick nodded as Kate sank into the chair behind her in shock.

Reynolds made a call, and a minute later, his phone rang to let him know everything was ready. Opening a special page on his computer, he clicked start and the film clip began playing. There, on his screen, stood Kate and Rick, both a little tipsy and smiling happily at one another. The hotel rooftop was converted into a fly-by-night wedding chapel, equipped to perform everything from simple ceremonies, to flash mob worthy productions. The "chapel" consisted of a pop-up tent style chuppah, complete with silk flowers, unity candles, symbols of love and face masks from various cultures. Large red flying cupids and hearts adorned each corner of the chuppah. This was all surrounded by the sounds of the weak, lilting warble of the wedding march played by pan flute, which sounded like it was from one of those CDs purchased from television. The setting catered to every religion and preference, it seemed, but apparently all at once, judging by the brash layering of various symbolic and cultural articles throughout the setting.

They leaned into each other, as they completed the process to become man and wife. In a few moments, they watched themselves make vows and give rings, promising fidelity and love for the other. It was like watching a movie starring them, but recalling nothing. Within a few moments, they were declared man and wife. Neither of them wasted a moment flying into the other's arms, and kissing their respective spouse as they were instructed to do so at the end of the ceremony. A few moments later, the passionate embrace ended, as rice and music drifted through the air.

It was true - and all caught on tape.

"Mr. Reynolds," Kate began as soon as she found her voice, "May we have a copy of the ceremony?"

Rick added, "And I trust that no other copies of the photos or video will be made or displayed for anyone else, including paparazzi, or even respected members of the formal press?"

"Of course. We exercise complete discretion. I will even make sure that the video is removed from our system, along with the photos, as well," Reynolds replied as he rose, the conversation coming to a close. "Oh, I almost forgot," The manager exclaimed suddenly. "I have your memory package for you here, as well. As a matter of fact, since you asked for the full package wedding, you not only get a copy of the ceremony on DVD, but you get a set of wedding rings which you selected from our house jeweler. I have his shop information in the package, should you need to contact him. You also get the photos you had taken, and a set of bride and groom champagne flutes that you used to toast your nuptials, once we have them laser etched with your names and yesterday's date. The flutes will be delivered to your home, since it takes a while to complete."

Reynolds handed Kate a folder, and Rick watched as she partially pulled an 8x10 copy of their wedding picture out from the envelope, which also contained a photo disc and DVD. The writer glanced at the photograph momentarily at an angle from where he sat, until Kate slid it back in the folder, mouth set in a grim line at the visual proof of their wedding. It was all becoming more than she could handle at the moment. Her raging headache was quickly coming back with a vengeance, fueled by the mounting frustration she was feeling.

Rick was the first to stand and shook his hand. "Thank you, Mr. Reynolds," he said.

Working on autopilot, Kate supplied a business card. "If you need to reach me, here's my card."

"We have contact information on the paperwork that your husband completed last night, but I'll add your card to the folder, as well." Castle's arm found its way onto Kate's back on its own accord, guiding her from the room.

Kate was the first of the two of them through the door of the office, letting it close behind them. "This is amazing. I can't believe this." She breathed out in shock, her voice half whisper and half whine.

Rick laughed. "Yeah, it is pretty amazing, isn't it?" replied Rick, his heart suddenly lighter at the surprising idea that maybe she wasn't completely against the wedding, after all. He continued to match her step for step.

Kate however, lowered the boom. "Yes! I mean, I can't believe that they would let two people obviously too drunk to know better, get married! I mean, honestly, this isn't Vegas! And we're not in some Tunnel of Love drive-thru with Elvis!"

Kate stopped walking when she realized that her partner was no longer by her side. Looking back to see where he had ended up, she stopped talking immediately as she saw the expression on his face. It seemed that he actually wanted it, judging by the pained expression he had at her comments.

After a moment of awkward silence, Rick spoke up, "So, just to be clear, you're saying that you don't want to be married to me, right?"

Kate's heart sped up at the sad, confused tone in his voice. Her first move was defensive. She had to protect herself…her heart.

"Castle, I…I don't know what I want. But whatever I want, it most certainly doesn't consist of being so drunk that I can't even remember it…or what happened afterwards," Kate replied slowly, referring to the various marks they both acquired last night in bed. It wasn't a lie about the circumstances, but it was about the outcome, however. She wanted him fully, as her friend, her partner, and her lover; even as her husband, if she was honest with herself. But something kept her from being able to admit that to him…and to herself.

Neither said another word, partially in fear of saying the wrong thing, and also due to shock at the still surreal feeling that they were actually married in the first place and had apparently consummated the union. The moments ticked by painfully.

Rick was the first to break the silence, "Well, whatever our feelings on the matter, I don't think it matters. There's no way that this marriage is legal."

* * *

To be continued...

Thanks in advance for follows, favorites and reviews! You all are awesome!


	3. Chapter 3

**The Heart of the Matter**

by LindaInDC

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction based on Castle, the ABC show, also owned by Andrew W. Marlowe and other cool, brilliant people. I do not own the characters, but have written this work with no intent to gain profit from it. It is for reading enjoyment only. The story, names and places are fictional, and any similarities to real persons, places and events are purely coincidental.

NOTE: You all are amazing! Thank you so much for sharing your reviews with me, and for taking the time to favorite and follow, it means so much! This chapter is without my beta, so forgive any issues. Hopefully, I caught them all.

* * *

 **Where we left off from chapter 2:**

" _Castle, I…I don't know what I want. But whatever I want, it most certainly doesn't consist of being so drunk that I can't even remember it…or what happened afterwards," Kate replied slowly, referring to the various marks they both acquired last night in bed. It wasn't a lie about the circumstances, but it was about the outcome, however. She wanted him fully, as her friend, her partner, and her lover; even as her husband, if she was honest with herself. But something kept her from being able to admit that to him…and to herself._

 _Neither said another word, partially in fear of saying the wrong thing, and also due to shock at the still surreal feeling that they were actually married in the first place and had apparently consummated the union. The moments ticked by painfully._

 _Rick was the first to break the silence, "Well, whatever our feelings on the matter, I don't think it matters. There's no way that this marriage is legal."_

* * *

 **Chapter Three**

"The marriage is legal," Allen Jones, one of Castle's attorneys stated plainly from the living room of Castle's loft. The two had agreed to go to the loft to meet with his lawyer.

"What? How?" Both Kate and Rick said at the same time, their timing impeccable, as always.

The shared response amused Jones. "That's pretty good, how you do that mind meld thing. You two should take that on the road!" he joked. The humor was lost on his audience, however, as he was met with an eye roll from Kate and a glare from Castle. Without further delay, the attorney continued. "Well, I looked at the video and you both are not too drunk to be declared incapacitated. It appears you had a valid ceremony, and the copy of the marriage license is completely accurate and everything seems to be in order, assuming it was filed. I checked and it was received and is currently being processed. You couldn't ask for a more airtight marriage declaration."

Kate and Rick looked at each other, surprise filling their expressions.

"Mr. Jones, what are the grounds for divorce?" Kate asked as Rick looked away, disappointment filling his eyes.

Jones smiled as he spoke. "To quote a line from an old Fred and Ginger movie, 'Marriage'. But there are options. I'm also assuming that you didn't complete a prenuptial agreement."

Rick replied in an irritated tone, his eyes never looking up. "As we had no plan to marry, no, we didn't."

Kate frowned. "Is that going to be a problem?"

Jones furrowed his brows as he replied. "not particularly in this case, but we would have to look more closely to marriage law. Back to the first issue, though, annulment is out, regarding terms of intoxication. You both were able to complete the vows and had no signs of being so drunk that you didn't understand them."

"And because we consummated the marriage, right?" Rick asked, to the embarrassment of Kate.

Jones laughed. "Well, that's a good one. I can tell that you likely consummated, based on the amount of visible hickeys on the both of you. But no, that doesn't make any difference in New York. On the other hand, inability to consummate would have been more of an effective tool, than actually doing the deed." Kate's face was now a bright red from embarrassment. Remembered or not, her sex life was not something she wanted discussed by other people, in front of her.

Jones took stock of the situation, not wanting to cause further embarrassment for either of them. "Look. There's no rush to move here. I would recommend that you both get some rest, and then the two of you take some time and think about what's happened. Then I think you need to talk to one another and decide on how you both want to proceed. Moving to terminate or not terminate the marriage is a big decision. I recommend that decision be made on a clear head. Open, honest communication goes a long way in situations like this, understand?"

Kate was emboldened. She gave a sharp retort, "I don't think there is any reason to delay this. Why can't we file immediately? Surely a judge could work on our behalf and keep this discreet."

Jones gave a half smile. "You must be frustrated. I get that, but it's a weekend, and as you know, nothing much happens until Monday. I was lucky enough to catch a friend working overtime that could tell me about your license."

Jones could feel the tension in the room, and realized that there was one too many people in the room. "I'm going to see myself out and let you two talk. Good day." The attorney rose and left, quietly closing the door behind him.

Rick felt relief rush through him that Kate couldn't push to end the marriage today. No matter how he looked at the options, Rick didn't want to end this marriage. _**This wasn't the most conventional way for us to get together, but we're forced to address everything between us now. It has to be an opportunity for us to face it all and make a choice, once and for all. Otherwise, it just needs to be over. It wouldn't be fair to either of us, and I can't keep doing this, especially if she isn't willing to even try.**_

Deep down, Rick was happy they woke up married. He wanted it. He wanted her, but he knew not to push too hard, or she'd run, just because she wouldn't be pressured. In the light of day, he knew that this was a monumental milestone for them, because it could start everything, or end it all.

"Kate, let's give it a few days and talk about it - please?", Rick pleaded to his partner.

Kate shook her head as she responded. "Castle, I can't see any reason to delay this. Nothing's gonna make this any different." She had gone through so many hardships, and putting in the time working on it, on herself. She wanted to be with him, but now wasn't the right time. She wasn't ready. She wasn't worthy in her eyes.

Rick's face was serious as he explained. "Kate, there's got to be a reason that we were so ready to be together, and I don't just think it was the alcohol. Why don't we take a couple of days? Let's go up to my house in the Hamptons. We'll have no interruptions, and we can talk about this."

Kate shook her head. "Castle, I can't take off right now. I'm on call for Karpowski, starting tomorrow. She's out several days for surgery. You know that."

Rick was determined. "This is important. It's too important to just ignore. Gates will understand."

Kate's voice rose, and her face filled with anger. Rick could see the vein in her forehead full and pulsing. It was her "tell" for strong emotion. "Castle, you are't listening. This isn't a good time to do this, understand?"

Rick tried to remain calm, despite the pull from his partner to have a bitter argument. "Beckett…Kate, I'm not going to argue with you so you can use that as evidence it wouldn't work. We need to talk about this. We've gotten closer. Neither of us have other people in our lives and it seems that the planets have finally aligned and nothing's in the way. Can't we try this? Can't we just just see-"

Kate interrupted his plea, and Rick didn't get the chance to continue. Her voice was powerful and a she spoke in a clipped tone. "Castle, no. There's no reason to 'just see'," Her demeanor grew impatient, nervous. "This has disaster written all over it. We never should have done this. It's all just a big mistake."

Rick was so nervous that his heart was pounding. Everything he'd wanted was at risk of going away before it even had a chance. His defense mechanisms began rising to the attack. "Now wait a minute, Kate. You don't mean that. You can't mean that."

The detective paced in front of him. She resembled a caged tiger, pacing back and forth in a small space. She was shocked at the words coming from her own mouth, as if they were spoken by someone else. "It's just too much with you, Castle. This was never supposed to happen. I'm…..I'm not ready!"

Kate realized she was about to give away information about her recovery that she didn't want to share. She deftly changed gears, to divert attention off herself. "I wouldn't have come up with this insane idea - you had to have been the one to instigate this."

Kate's anger clouded her better judgement more and more as she spoke. She froze mid step, a look of shock on her face. "You played me, didn't you?"

Rick was growing angry at the accusations. "Now, wait just a minute, Beckett. It takes two to tango, and it takes two to get married! You're just as responsibility for this as I am! Don't forget that the hotel manager said that we were both very eager. You don't get to do this. You don't get to act ashamed and decide to make me the bad guy!"

Kate's face became cold. "You always look to get your way, even if there's a con involved. Even early on, you conned me on the firing range to get pictures. You even stole crime scene photos to use for bragging rights with your poker buddies! If only you hadn't pushed to follow me, because I wish this all had never even started. I wish I had never even met you!"

The cloud of anger dissipated the moment the words were spoken. It was like ice water tossed in her face, waking her instantly. She realized she didn't mean any of it, and more importantly, she had hurt him. Deeply, judging from the look on his face.

Castle remained silent. He felt as if she had just slapped him. He turned and walked slowly in the opposite direction from the detective. His heart was breaking over the rapid, off the cuff dismissal of his feelings. It more than stung a bit. He couldn't look at her.

"Rick, wait!", Kate pled. She was interrupted when the writer raised his phone to his ear, speaking to a person on the other end. "Jerry, this is Rick Castle. Sorry for the timing on this, but I need a car as soon as possible to take Detective Beckett home. The sooner the better, please. Thanks, she'll be waiting in the lobby." Rick ended the call and strode towards the office, away from Kate.

"Castle, wait, let me explain." Kate hurried to match his steps. She needed to make him see her side. She knew if he did, he would agree. Her pride kept her from taking her words back.

The writer's voice was quiet and hollow. "There's no need. I want this…so much, or at least a shot at it. You don't and won't even try. See? No explanation needed, I get it." He had yet to look her in the eye.

Kate was flummoxed at his words, but refused to change her stance. Her voice shook. "Rick, please."

"I think it would be best if you go now. Just give your address to the driver, and he'll get you home." Rick stated as he turned and entered the office and closed the door. His shoulders slumped in disappointment. He could not let it end this way, but didn't have the strength to do more right then.

Kate took a moment to collect her things, and quietly left the loft. The elevator ride to the lobby took forever. The trip to her apartment was slow and miserable for the detective. Tears ran quietly down her cheeks as the car rolled ever closer to her building. She fought the urge to tell the driver to go back, so she could talk to Rick and level with him. She wanted to grab him and kiss him until he couldn't stand up. She wanted to tell him that she was sorry, that she was wrong and that she just wanted him.

But she couldn't.

"Dammit!" She exclaimed as her pride warred with her heart and mind. She was confused and frustrated. Wiping the tears, her mind replayed their argument. She knew she had hurt him deeply. But it didn't change that she felt that she wasn't ready or good enough for a relationship with him.

"He'll see that this is for the best," the detective said aloud to herself, trying to make sense of what happened. She hoped that he would be in on Monday, and they could find some way to work together. She was complete when they were working together. **This can't end our partnership.** Her mind was turning in fear as the thought ran on endless loop.

####

Rick suffered for the rest of the weekend. His heart was hurting from disappointment at Kate's rejection. **She doesn't love me. She doesn't even want to try,** repeating in his thoughts as he replayed the conversation, looking for any sign of hope.

Standing in his living room, the writer looked out over the city to process everything as his thoughts were spinning wildly. The inner dialogue ended by the ringing of his cell phone. He prayed it wasn't Kate as he removed it from his pocket. She had texted him a few times, but he couldn't respond. He couldn't even open them to hear more from her right now. It was too raw and still hurt too much.

The writer sighed as the picture of his ex-wife and publisher appeared on the phone. Knowing that she didn't normally call on a weekend, he figured it might be important, and accepted the call.

"Hi Gina. What's up?" Rick answered. He was doing his best to keep his voice at a slightly disinterested tone.

"Well, Rick, you tell me. I forwarded you the itinerary and your tickets, but I hadn't heard back from you. Are you ready?" The ever-direct woman queried him.

After three seconds of silence, she assumed the worst.

She wasn't wrong.

The irritation built in her voice. "Don't tell me you forgot?" she asked.

Rick was confused. "Forgot what?" He searched his memory for any indication of what the date was and what he might be in trouble for missing.

A deep sigh escaped the publisher's lips before the reply came. "Rick, you leave tomorrow for your annual six week book tour of the West coast and Mid-West. I'm negotiating a few more stops, so it may run an additional week at the end."

No response came from the writer. "Hello, we've been planning this for the last month. Now, do you remember?" she prompted.

The memory crashed into his brain at that instant. _**Oh God, not now. Why now?**_

Castle replied in a direct tone, "Gina, listen, something's come up and this isn't a good time for me. We need to reschedule this-"

His plea was dismissed sharply by her reply. The tone was she used was the one he called her "married argument voice". It had been years since he had heard it, and that was just fine by him. "Richard Castle, we have arrangements, contracts and fans to think of here! You also agreed to be the emcee at the Children's Hospital formal charity auction to help raise funds for their neonatal cancer unit. That can't be rescheduled!"

Rick's heart sank at the information. He really was obligated to go, and of course, would never do anything to hinder the fundraising for the kids. His spirit wilting, he gave a deep sigh. "Of course. I'll be at the airport tomorrow, ready to go." he replied.

Relief filled Gina's voice. "I knew you would come to see things my way. For a change. Okay, so I'll be at the gala near the end of the trip, and will see you there. Your flight is at 1:30 tomorrow afternoon, have a safe trip." The two exchanged further pleasantries and ended the call.

Surprised he could muster any humor at all, he murmured, "That's one seat in the smoking heart wreckage section, please." He raised his left hand up to look at the band that adorned his left ring finger. He slipped the band off his finger and stared at it for a moment. Not wanting to draw attention prematurely, he walked to his room and placed it into the box inside the bedside table drawer for safe keeping. His heart sad, he sighed deep and slow. The sadness and confusion continued to get the better of him.

"Dad, are you ok?", Alexis startled the writer as her voice filled the room.

Rick turned to face his daughter and tried to fake a happier response. "Hey, Pumpkin. Yeah, I just found out that I'm supposed to be leaving on a six week book tour tomorrow, that may get extended to seven. I helped plan it, but my mind just blocked it, I guess. I thought it started next week."

Alexis looked shocked. "Tomorrow? Wow! Do you need me to help with your packing?"

Rick ran his hand through his hair as he answered. "Yeah, I can use all the help I can get, thanks."

The writer looked sad and thoughtful. His attentive daughter caught it. "Dad, is something wrong, other than this trip?"

Rick was pensive in his response. "Things are pretty…rough between me and Detective Beckett right now. To be honest, I don't know if we're going to be able to fix it this time."

"What? You and Beckett are fighting? Did you tell her how you feel about her?", Alexis asked, causing her father's to fill with shock. "Dad, please. I know. I take it she's not ok with it?" She continued.

"How do you know that it isn't me that doesn't want to move ahead?" Rick asked, his surprise still showing in his face at how easily she read the situation.

The young woman crinkled her face at the humorous response. "Oh, come on, Dad, you've been in love with her since nearly the moment you met her. Grams and I both know it. You'd give your wisdom teeth to be able to be with her, and you know it!"

Rick was amazed at how accurate his daughter had called it. "Yeah, well, it has to go both ways, Pumpkin, and that just doesn't seem to be the case."

"So, what are you gonna do? Can't you just talk about it?", Alexis questioned her father.

Rick took a moment to pause before he answered. "Well, I was planning to go and see if I could talk to her tomorrow, but now that I'm traveling, that isn't gonna happen. Maybe I'll see if she can talk tonight."

Alexis smiled as she pulled her father into a hug. "Just give it some time and see what she has to say. I've seen the way she looks at you. If she's not in love with you, too, then she deserves an acting award! Go see her and I'll start on the packing. You can help finish up when you get back."

Rick smiled at his daughter. He said nothing, but leaned down and to place a kiss on the top of her head. His mind was too busy figuring out what to say. Inspired, he grabbed his phone.

####

Kate Beckett was home, dutifully cleaning her apartment. She was doing her best to keep her mind active, to avoid the replay of her fight with Rick that was still running repeatedly. She jumped at the sound of her phone getting a text message. It was from Castle.

" _Are you home? I just want to talk. Please?"_

She sighed to give a moment of pause before replying. She needed him not to be mad at her any more than he already was. She didn't want to fight, but she just couldn't see how she could do this with him. But they did need to talk, regardless, or this might end their partnership.

" _Sure. When_?" She typed quickly.

"I can be there in twenty." Rick replied.

She looked around at her place to make sure she would have time to finish up, then typed her answer.

" _See you then._ "

* * *

 **To be continued…**


	4. Chapter 4

**The Heart of the Matter  
**

by LindaInDC

 **Disclaimer:** This is a work of fiction based on Castle, the ABC show, also owned by Andrew W. Marlowe and other cool, brilliant people. I do not own the characters, but have written this work with no intent to gain profit from it. It is for reading enjoyment only. The story, names and places are fictional, and any similarities to real persons, places and events are purely coincidental.

 **NOTE:** There has been a lot going on with the show since my last update and I know emotions are high. I must ask that you please do not comment on the show in my reviews, but remain focused on this story. Additionally, please do not use the guest review feature to bash one another, or me for that matter. This last chapter had several guests and even registered users saying terribly unkind things to one another. If that continues, I will remove the offending posts. I am not a fan of censorship, but I will not tolerate verbal abuse. For the guest poster that commented on the timing of the book tour, I understand about the timing. However, as this is an AU story, the timing isn't going to match the book releases on the show exactly. So, I am citing creative license, here. Thanks for the feedback! This chapter begins the next twist, and I hope you all enjoy.

* * *

 **Chapter Four**

Twenty minutes later, the familiar knock on her door alerted her to his presence. Kate strode to the door and slowly slid the door open, to see the face of her…husband? Wordlessly, she motioned him to enter.

Rick stepped into the apartment, and waited until Kate closed the door and turned to face him. Nervously trying to breech the silence, she stated, "I put some fresh ground coffee on, would you like a cup?"

Rick silently nodded his agreement. He was grateful for the icebreaker. Coffee was always their thing. Maybe this was a good sign, after all.

She set about fixing a cup of coffee for each of them, and slid one toward him. He accepted it gratefully as he motioned for her to join him on the couch.

Walking over, Kate sat on the opposite end of the couch, leaving plenty of space between them. While only a foot or so, it felt like a mile separated the partners. Rick felt the distance and it was awful, foreign. They stared at one another a few moments, each mentally begging the other to begin. Determined to have this talk, Rick forged ahead.

"I wanted to talk to you about what happened, but before you say anything, I ask that you let me finish and then say or ask anything you want, and then you'll do the same, fair?" He stated. Kate nodded her agreement.

"Kate, I know where we left off the other night and I…I just wanted to say that I know that this is so not what we planned or even imagined for either of us. I have to tell you that I…" He paused, looking at the anticipation in her eyes and forged ahead, consequences be damned.

"Kate, I told you something once before, and I have to tell you again." Rick continued, and he could see something in her eyes that he had not seen before. It was uncertainty.

Continuing on, Rick said, "From the look in your eyes, I am going to say that perhaps you either remembered and haven't said anything to me, or perhaps you've remembered all along. But, you know, at one time, I might be hurt or upset at that, but this moment…I'm tabling that…for now. Because I have to make sure that you do know that from nearly the first moment I met you, I knew you were extraordinary, and somewhere along the line, I fell in love with you. I love you Kate, and I know that you're scared. I know that you're worried, but I had to tell you once more."

Tears began to flow from Kate's eyes as she listened to the man pour out his feelings to her. Her heart was beating so fast, it felt as if it were going to leap from her chest. He was everything she could ever want, this man was the one for her, she'd known it from early on, and she was the one for him. But the fear held her back. She had convinced herself she wasn't ready and wasn't good enough for his love, and the walls stood high and strong around her heart. She was just beginning to open up to her therapist, and she knew that she could put in the time and work on herself, and be the woman that he could love unconditionally, and she could love him back the same way.

But not…yet.

She put her hands over her face for a moment, pushing her hair behind her ears, giving her a moment to collect her thoughts. "Castle, the last thing I ever want to do is to hurt you in any way, and I know I've already done that. I know that you see this as some romantic way to make us perfect for one another, but the truth is that's just a fairy tale. It isn't fate or kismet or some other magical thing that will just fix everything! I have to be ready and I'm working on that, but I'm just not there yet. You wanting us to stay in this marriage only makes me feel pressured, and that you don't trust me."

Rick continued his impassioned plea to her, "Kate, I know that we jumped the gun here. But we never do things according to plan or tradition, you have to admit that. We've danced around the possibility of being together for a long time, despite having others in our lives. So maybe this is the push that we both need to finally be together. If nothing else, it's forcing us to stop and ask ourselves if we really want to be with each other. We may decide to end it, or we may decide to try it, but I don't see the need to rush to end it offhand. I know that you said you wish this wasn't legal, and that we had never met, but you'll have to excuse me, I just don't feel the same."

Kate took in a breath before she began, and Rick felt his heart sink as he could nearly read her thoughts. He could practically hear the mortar settle in on the wall around her feelings. She continued, "But Rick, marriage is something that shouldn't be done, just because we can. You're right, I do know that you told me you loved me, and I've known from the time of the shooting. I played it over in my head, trying to figure out what was real at first. When I did, I couldn't deal with it just then, and I pushed it aside. I haven't looked at it as something that I can reach for yet. I know that we're already legally married, but that doesn't mean that we should make a mockery of the institution, and that's what I feel we'd be doing if we stayed married."

Rick was hurt, but not surprised. His focus was surprisingly sharp. Rather than the instinct to just walk away, he felt a determination flood his veins. He was looking at the long term, in terms of their relationship potential. "You know, in all that rhetoric, I never once heard you say you didn't love me back. Why is that?"

The tears coursed even harder down Kate's cheeks at that observation. "Because Rick, I can't face that right now. I'm…not saying never, but I'm just not there yet. I'm scared, so afraid of messing this up and pushing you away, that I just can't do this right now. I'm working on me and I want to accept everything that happened that day…everything. But right now, I'm still fighting the wall I built up inside. Until I can clear that, I won't be able to have the kind of relationship I want. But, I don't want to lose you from my life, I couldn't bear it. You are…so much to me. I don't mean to confuse the issue, but I don't want to tie you down, waiting for who knows how long until we can 'just see' if we would work. And I don't think that we should let this marriage go on like this. We should end it now before one or both of us gets hurt."

Rick sat there a moment, letting her words sink in. She didn't refuse him, but she didn't accept him either, and she did say that she didn't want to be married to him. Sort of. Looking down, he searched inward for the words to begin. He knew that no matter what he said or did now, nothing would change her mind about this. Arguing with her would only make her more stubborn. She had answers for everything, but the biggest barrier was the fear of failure. She was willing to give up before they could even try.

Rick thought that this new-found determination had to be tempered with patience, it seemed. The writer needed her to know his heart, and that he was giving her some space to make her decisions, too. But that didn't mean that he wasn't determined that she know his feelings, and by damned, he was going to say them.

"I hear what you have to say and I'm not going to fight you on it. There would be nothing but bad blood between us, and I don't want that. But Kate, I love you. I'm in love with you, and I'm not going to give up on that easily. You won't be in a relationship with me right now, and I can't make you, but I am still married to you, at least for right now. I refuse to terminate this marriage without us taking a few days to think and then rationally talking it over, to discuss the possibility of an us."

He paused, looking into her eyes, and tried to share the love he felt for her. Sighing deeply and softening his eyes toward his partner, he continued, "See, I want to be tied to you, in every way possible, and right now, this sounds like the only way."

Kate's eyes were huge with surprise at his words, and a slight irritation was building at the man who was sitting across from her, challenging her, daring her to be with him. His words continued to pound into her memory.

"Kate, work through this with your therapist, talk to your friends, talk to me. But don't throw this, our partnership or our friendship away. We're better together than we are apart. Please, don't just end this." Rick's face took on a look that the detective had never seen before.

He was literally begging her for her heart.

Pride seeped into the recesses of her mind, it's tendrils wrapping around the fear she possessed, making it seemingly more powerful. She was afraid. Afraid of losing him, of keeping him as a friend when they should be more, of taking the chance and failing. And something with him - friendship - was better than nothing.

"I…I…can't. I'm not ready. I'm sorry. I can't risk losing what we have now." Kate replied, her heart breaking at her own response.

Rick could hurt no more if she had ripped his still-beating heart from his chest and stomped on it. His first reaction was to leave her right then and let this all just be over. But there was one problem: Richard Castle loved Katherine Beckett more than he loved life itself.

"I…I think it would be a good idea for me to not be at the precinct for a while." Rick said in a quiet, solemn tone.

At her panicked look, he continued, "I'm not saying I'm leaving, but I need some time to think. I'm not mad, not really. I'm hurt, but not mad."

"Rick, I don't want this to change our partnership. You going away seems like that's happening." Kate tried to reason with him.

Rick shook his head slightly, needing to set his thoughts in order as he replied, "I needed to tell you either way that I have to go out of town for six, maybe seven weeks for a book tour, starting tomorrow. I thought it was bad timing, but in reality, it might just be perfect. I need to reset a little, and make sure that I have perspective on this. And if I have to see you each day, and talk to you, well…that's not gonna happen."

Kate's face was full of surprise at this news. Despite Rick telling her that it was just a book tour, she was terrified that this was final. As if he could read her thoughts, Castle added, "I haven't changed my mind about the marriage. I am still your husband, even if only in name right now. I'm not signing any divorce or annulment papers - not until we've had time to think and then we talk again when I get back, where we can both agree. OK?"

Kate felt horrible. She hurt for him, and grieved for the love she was denying them. But her head was overruling her heart this time, and she had always followed what her head had to say. The fear of losing him was keeping her trapped behind the wall she so desperately wanted to be free from, and she was stuck. She didn't see how six weeks would change anything, and she wanted to tell him to forget the marriage, but the fear of losing him made her reason that by agreeing with him, she at least had him in some capacity while he was away. It was twisted logic, but she clung to it like her lifeline.

"Fine. I won't file until you get back and we can talk. But I want an agreement that then, if we decide to end it, you won't fight me, and you don't just walk away." Kate offered as an agreement.

Rick nodded as he replied, his voice quiet, sad, "Can't you see that this is changing, that we are changing, please don't discard the chance we could have."

Kate looked down, her eyes cast on the floor. Hurt, Rick continued, "I guess I'll go. Please take care of yourself, Kate."

Kate nodded, but could not bring herself to speak, as tearful emotion strangled her voice. Rick looked down for a moment, collecting his thoughts, and then slowly walked to the door. Looking back as he stepped through, he gave her a sad, resigned smile and quietly shut the door.

Slipping onto the sofa, Kate allowed the tears to come unhindered. This seemed off, since he didn't say "Until tomorrow" or "I'll see you when I get back". It seemed final, and she couldn't just accept that.

Why couldn't he see that she had to fix herself before she could be with him?

* * *

Evan Wilkens was anxious to meet the great Richard Castle. He had been tracking the writer's progress in the first week of the tour, which was a seemingly successful trip thus far, and as manager of the private San Francisco bookstore, "Perfectly Novel", he felt as prepared as possible to receive the writer into his shop. Richard Castle was one of the more well known writers that still came to the smaller "mom and pop" stores as well as the larger chain establishments, and for that Evan was grateful. He had a line of fans already accumulating outside the shop, and the writer had not yet even arrived.

Wilkins was a tall man with salt and pepper hair in a "high maintenance" hairdo, that is to say, it was fraught with hair gel. His expression began to grow more concerned as he glanced at his wristwatch. Mr. Castle should have arrive any time now, as it was twenty minutes before they would open the doors and allow Nikki Heat fans access to her creator. He paced at the door, trying not to look like he was impatient, and failing miserably. Moments later, a black town car slowed to a stop in front of his store, and the driver slid his way around to the back passenger door. Evan's heart sped at the excitement, as he knew that this was the writer that everyone had come to see.

The moment Richard Castle stepped from the car, Evan's eyes were on him, taking in every little detail. He did a double take, as there appeared to be something off with the writer. He was terribly pale, and he appeared to be breathing heavily. He was using a handkerchief to dab the perspiration from his face and forehead. Evan also noted that he seemed to be moving slowly, and even a little off balance. Refusing assistance from the driver, the writer eventually came to the door of the shop, where Evan met him.

"Mr. Castle, as always, it's a pleasure to see you. But, I have to say, you don't look well. Are you ok to continue? We can always reschedule." Wilkens stated, concern growing on his face as he now saw Rick up close and grew even more worried.

Rick was nearly wheezing as it was difficult to breathe. He answered, "Thank you, Evan. I think I can make it. It must be some sort of flu bug. I've felt a little worse each day for the past several days, but I know everyone has worked so hard to set this up, and I don't want to disappoint my fans. I'm grateful that they still show up."

Evan was still concerned, but comforted that Rick felt he was well enough to continue. "That's fine, but let me know if you are too ill to go on." He said as he walked alongside the writer towards the signing table. He could literally hear Rick's lungs struggling to breathe, and he sounded horrible. He noticed that the writer was clutching his chest slightly and as the store manager, he decided to postpone the event. "Mr Castle, I am going to…"

At that moment, his words were halted by the sudden change in direction of the writer. Rick's knees literally gave out and he was falling onto the floor, face first. Evan dropped to his knees immediately, to check on the writer. He was out cold. Looking back to one of the shop assistants he yelled, "Mike, call 911. Mr. Castle has collapsed!"

To be continued...


	5. Chapter 5

The Heart of the Matter

by LindaInDC

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction based on Castle, the ABC show, also owned by Andrew W. Marlowe and other cool, brilliant people. I do not own the characters, but have written this work with no intent to gain profit from it. It is for reading enjoyment only. The story, names and places are fictional, and any similarities to real persons, places and events are purely coincidental.

Thank you for reading, providing reviews and favoriting/following this story. You all are amazing.

Note: July 24, 2016- this is not additional chapters in this update. I am just breaking down this one massive post into smaller ones allowing a chapter per page.

A great big note of thanks to Sass, who helped me with her magical doctor powers to square away the clinical side of this story. I wanted to do this justice, without writing a clinical textbook.

* * *

 **Chapter Five**

Martha Rodgers was moving as quickly as her feet could carry her, considering the advanced length to her age and the height of her heels. Her speed, much to her Granddaughter's dismay, was not quickly enough for either ladies' liking.

"Hurry Grams! We have to see him. Dad has to be ok, right? They would have told us more on the phone if he wasn't okay, right?" Alexis Castle asked of the senior redheaded member of the family, her voice quivering, tight with worry.

Martha, slightly winded at the exertion of being tugged quickly through the airport, replied, "Of course he's going to be ok, dear. He's a strong, healthy man. He'll bounce back quickly."

The younger redhead slowed her pace as the two broke through the corridor, into the baggage return area, and quickly saw the driver holding the placard marked "Castle". Martha had taken the call from the hospital, telling her that her son was brought in unconscious to the Emergency Room, and was being evaluated. She immediately called Alexis and the young woman left her class and was home within a half hour, at which time, she frantically packed, while her grandmother notified Gina Cowell, as she was the point person working with Richard from Black Pawn. Within minutes, Gina had called back with flight information for the two, and told her a car would be waiting when they arrived, and that she'd notify Paula and they would await word on his condition. Martha thanked her and called down for the car to come ASAP to carry them to JFK Airport.

The driver took their carryons and let them know the hotel that Black Pawn had put them up at for their stay, and that he would take them to the hospital, and then carry their bags to the hotel for them, and ensure that they were all taken care of from that end. Thanking him for this information, and his efforts, the pair settled into the car for the twenty minute or so drive to the hospital.

They arrived at the hospital just before 7 pm, and as instructed, reported to the Emergency Room to be taken to Rick, as ICU visiting hours had already ended, and they could be quickly escorted to the unit without incident, just in case any paparazzi were to appear. They were escorted to the Intensive Care Unit, where they were asked to speak with the physician. Moments later, a young looking Indian man in scrubs and a lab coat approached the pair. "Miss Castle? Ms. Rodgers? I am Dr. Indrid Patel". He offered his hand in greeting as he continued. "I am Mr. Castle's physician. As you probably know, he had collapsed at the book shop before his signing today. He was still unconscious when he arrived here at the Emergency Room, as his oxygen levels were very low. We have him on oxygen now, and he is resting. How long has he been traveling?"

Alexis answered, "He started his tour this week, and he was away from home nearly seven days, so far."

The Dr. nodded in understanding. He continued, "Was he showing any signs of illness before he left for the trip?"

Martha looked at Alexis, scanning their collective memories, and the elder was the first to report, "No, not at all. Richard has a wonderfully strong constitution. He's seldom ill."

Dr. Patel nodded, and maintained a serious expression. "Thank you for letting me know. We have rules about only one visitor at a time with the patients, but since you are just arriving, we can relax that for this first visit. That way, I can also continue with both of you with Mr. Castle. If you'll follow me, ladies."

The pair walked reverently behind the physician as he swiped his ID badge over the sensor, causing the unit doors to slide open. The two women were met head on with the various beeps, voices, and other sights and sounds associated with an ICU. The antiseptic smell, while not unpleasant, also reminded them that they were in a place of healing.

The three walked past the nurses stationed in desks along the walls along the unit, and soon came to the glass walled room containing Rick. He was in bed, his head elevated, and bed rails surrounding him. He was very pale and looked exhausted. He wore a nasal cannula, which delivered oxygen. He had an IV line running into his chest, and it was hooked up to bags of fluids and medications which hung from a pole at the bedside, delivered into his body through IV pumps. There were lines, tubes and wires connected in what seemed everywhere. The digital screen just above his head showed spikes and dips of a bouncing line, giving a visual description of the heart's electrical activity. It made this all seem so terribly real.

Alexis rushed into the room and hugged her dad carefully, while Martha took his hand after kissing his cheek. Dr. Patel allowed them a moment, before summoning them for a report. "Mr. Castle, how are you feeling now?"

Rick had little energy, so he did not lift his head to reply, but spoke with his head resting on the pillow. "I feel like I…" He paused, not able to speak his normally colorful eloquence. "I feel bad. Tired. Like the flu."

Dr. Patel nodded, "I understand. We have run a number of tests on you and will be running several more. Your oxygen levels were pretty low, and I believe that is why you passed out. The oxygen is helping with that. I am not going to beat around the bush here, you are pretty ill. Your heart rate is elevated. You have fluid accumulating in your lungs and that's also not helping with your breathing. Your chest X-ray shows that your heart is enlarged, which is caused by your heart having to work harder and not able to work like it does normally, to pump the blood through your body, which explains the wheezing and also some of the trouble breathing you had, before you book store manager said you told him you were feeling ill for a few days and it was getting worse, and he said he could hear you were having difficulties with breathing and was staggering before you collapsed. "

The physician paused a moment, allowing the trio to process this information. He pushed on, "Your EKG is showing some abnormal activity. After looking at your chest X-rays and the echocardiogram, um, that's an ultrasound of your heart I had completed on you, it seems that you are having a condition called Myocarditis."

Both ladies looked at him, confusion filling their expressions. Martha was the first to speak. "What is this, Myocarditis?"

Dr. Patel shook his head, as if to clear his thoughts. "I'm sorry, let me explain. Myocarditis is an inflammation of the heart muscle. Initial blood work also confirms this, and we're awaiting final results on some of the lab work we did on you, to see if it is due to bacterial infection. However, based on what I'm seeing, and how fast things are occurring, I believe it's acute and viral in origin. It can come on quickly and can be quite aggressive. The symptoms at first are generalized, so the patient often delays treatment, thinking it's just the flu. I have him on medications that hopefully will reduce the fluid he has accumulating in his body, and to help maximize the heart's efficiency. We need to be able to tackle this and get this resolved, or else it can lead to other problems shortly down the road."

"What do you mean? Is my dad going to die?" Alexis asked, her heart beating quickly with fear, her hand squeezing that of her father's. Rick was terribly fatigued. He was also afraid, and was listening, but he was not as verbal as his daughter. She had asked the one question he would have.

Dr. Patel paused, then replied, "Miss Castle, I am not going to sugar coat things, but I don't want to cause panic, either. Right now, your dad is very ill. We are doing everything we can for him, and if he responds to the treatment we have planned, then there should be a good outcome. Let's focus on that being the case here."

"Doctor, is there anything we can do to help Richard?" Martha asked, her heart full of concern. "Blood donation, or such?"

"Just be here for him. That's the best thing you can do for him now." Dr. Patel answered, then continued as he glanced down at his smart phone, "I am going to review the information that I am getting now, and once I know more, we can know better how to proceed. So, ten more minutes in here together, and then after that, we'll go back to the standard 15 minutes visitation an hour, one at a time, beginning tomorrow morning. Excuse me, ladies."

Dr. Patel left the room and Alexis reached over carefully to hug her father. Martha was worried at how pale and wan he looked. Fatigue covered every inch of his face. She held his hand as she spoke, "Kiddo, rest and get well. I mean it. No drama here, please. And don't worry about anything. Gina and Paula know what's happened, and I'll let them know the basics of what is going on here, as it pertains to your recovery, after I call Detective Beckett and…"

"No." The tired reply came from her son, stopping the actress mid sentence.

"No what, Richard?" His mother asked.

"Kate. Don't tell her anything. Promise me." Rick pleaded with his eyes, his pulse increasing with the anxious tension.

Martha was flummoxed. "But Richard, your friends would want to know that…"

Once again she was interrupted, only this time by the youngest family member. "Grams, he and Beckett have been having some difficulties, and he doesn't want to cause more stress. It isn't my story to share, but I think it would mean a lot to Dad if we would honor his request."

Martha paused for a moment, studying both her son and granddaughter. She didn't understand what had occurred, and she strongly objected to this, but she wouldn't interfere. She knew that he loved Kate Beckett, and she prayed that once everything resolved here, he would finally try to fix things with the beautiful detective that possessed her son's heart.

"Fine." Came her answer, followed by a deep breath of resignation. The increased tension in her son's face subsided. This confused the actress greatly.

####

The next morning, after a quick meal, Martha and Alexis returned to the Intensive Care Unit waiting area, and picked up the phone to ask if one of them could be buzzed into see her son.

"Good morning, who would you like to see?" The voice on the other end of the phone asked pleasantly.

"My son, Richard Castle." Martha answered succinctly.

A pause filled the air. After a long moment, the voice came back on, "Please wait there, ma'am. Dr. Patel's resident would like to have a word with you."

Martha's heart sped up in anxiety as she hung up the phone. Alexis, ever observant, saw the change in her grandmother's demeanor right away. "Grams, what's wrong?"

"I don't know, but they asked us to stay here and the Doctor is on the way to talk to us." Martha plainly answered.

At that moment, the physician entered the waiting room and met the two. A woman appeared, short in stature, blonde hair tucked back behind her ears, the rest covered with a floral print surgical cap, competing for space with the eyeglass arms connected to the lenses that shielded her bright blue eyes. Her lab coat covering her hospital scrubs flowing in the air slightly behind her as she strode into the room. She wore a solemn facial expression, and her intensity caused fear in Alexis' mind. Looking around and finding no one else in the room, she strode to them to begin the conversation.

"You are the family of Mr. Castle, correct?" The woman queried.

"Yes, his mother and daughter." Martha replied, trying for brevity to get this conversation started sooner.

"I'm Doctor Susan Rawlings, I am Doctor Patel's resident. He asked me to get in touch with you, and I was just about to call you. He is in with your son, right now." she paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. It was only a moment, but it felt like a lifetime to the two women in Castle's life.

"I will try to cover everything and if you have any questions, stop me, please. Mr. Castle's condition began to decline this morning," she continued. "As Doctor Patel had shared with you earlier, it was determined that the heart inflammation your son has is indeed viral myocarditis and at present, he is not responding positively to the treatments we had begun for him. The virus is aggressive, and he's deteriorated quickly. Mr. Castle lost consciousness a little while ago, and his vital signs were a bit unstable, and he had begun experiencing a very serious condition called Ventricular Tachycardia. This is where the bottom chambers of the heart are beating too quickly, so we had to step in rapidly to try and correct it."

Alexis sat down next to her Grandmother, took her hand and asked the young doctor, "I've done some internship with one of the New York Medical Examiners office, I've heard of Ventricular Tachycardia. It could cause his heart to stop if you don't get it stopped, right?"

Impressed, the resident nodded as paused a moment before she replied, "Yes, that's right."

Martha blanched and her knees folded. She descended into a chair, the news coming as a shock. Alexis remained standing, her face filling with panic at the words they were hearing. Tears began to fall from her eyes, streaming steadily down her cheeks. Brushing tears aside, she asked, "How is he now?"

Rawlings gave her a small smile, trying to help lessen the pain of the news she was delivering. "Your father is still quite ill. But we are doing everything we can for him. Our team placed Mr. Castle with a tube going from his mouth into his lungs to help him breathe, as his oxygen levels were very low. This was due in part to the fluids that are accumulating in his lungs. Tests that we performed on his heart showed us that he is beginning to have quite an increased amount of fluid in the space around his heart. It was determined that he needed to have that fluid removed, to keep his heart from being compressed by the fluid and possibly stopping. Dr. Patel and the team are about to begin that procedure. We'll keep you up to date as soon as we can, and I have some consent forms and papers for you, as well. If you need me or Dr. Patel, please don't hesitate to let one of the nurses know, and they can get in touch with us for you."

Martha and Alexis' hands squeezed in support of the other, and a silent prayer was sent Heavenward by both the Castle ladies.

To be continued...


	6. Chapter 6

The Heart of the Matter

by LindaInDC

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction based on Castle, the ABC show, also owned by Andrew W. Marlowe and other cool, brilliant people. I do not own the characters, but have written this work with no intent to gain profit from it. It is for reading enjoyment only. The story, names and places are fictional, and any similarities to real persons, places and events are purely coincidental.

Thank you for reading, providing reviews and favoriting/following this story. You all are amazing.

Note: July 24, 2016- this is not additional chapters in this update. I am just breaking down this one massive post into smaller ones allowing a chapter per page.

A great big note of thanks to Sass, who helped me with her magical doctor powers to square away the clinical side of this story. I wanted to do this justice, without writing a clinical textbook.

* * *

 **Chapter Six**

Gina Cowell tugged nervously at the sleeve of her expensive business suit. After getting an update from Martha, she had called Paula Haas, Rick's agent, to notify her of the status of the writer and her client. Gina was a bit irritated, as she had called Paula's office the afternoon before, when she first learned about Rick, but the agent hadn't returned that call. Today, Gina called again, this time using Black Pawn and Rick as the incentive for her call, which she took right away. Paula was en-route to Black Pawn, and was expected to arrive there any moment. As she waited, Gina began to try to compartmentalize her feelings. Her business side needed to be concerned with the author, and how this would impact the release of his next book. The ex-wife was concerned over the man she had briefly shared her life with, no matter how things ended. Sipping from her water glass, Gina thought about the man. Her ex-husband always did like the dramatic, and now seemed to be no exception. Both sides of her prayed he would be alright.

The publisher looked up as she heard the commotion heading her way. Paula Haas was a force of nature. Dressed in a tight red Herve Ledger bandage miniskirt dress that ended mid-thigh and a pair of black Manolo Blahnik power heels, her jet black ponytail swaying in counterpoint behind her as she strode purposefully toward the publisher's office.

"I was just on my way to a reception, Gina, so I was nearby. Sorry I didn't call back, I've been on the road with a new client, and the hours were insane. Anyway, listen, I don't know what Ricky's done, but I'm sure he didn't mean it." Paula had stated as she broke across the threshold of the office and sat in the nearest available chair.

Raising her hands to halt the conversation, Gina stated, "Hold on, it's nothing like that. I've spoken to Rick's mother, Martha, earlier, and I told her I would let you know. Rick collapsed at his book signing yesterday in San Francisco. She and Rick's daughter are there, now. I told them I'd let you know when they gave me an update."

The agent's eyes widened in surprise, "What? He can't be exhausted already, he's only six days into the tour. I'll have a talk with him, he needs to take a vitamin or something and he'll be good as new…"

Gina interrupted, "Paula, wait. He didn't faint, he actually collapsed. They are telling Martha that it's his heart. He has some sort of virus or something. He's really sick." The concern coming from Gina's voice alarmed the other woman. "He could die." Gina added, as she gathered her thoughts.

Paula sat motionless for a moment, willing her mind to stop spinning. Sure, Rick Castle was an overgrown child, but he was fun and very talented. She had never had a client die before. She looked down, closed her eyes, and crossed herself as she said a quick prayer. She wasn't usually the religious type, but it couldn't hurt.

When the agent finished, she looked up and stated, "So do we need to issue a statement?"

Gina shook her head. "Not yet. I just let Martha know I'd notify you and that we'd standby for more information. In the meantime, you and I need to contact the rest of the stops on the tour and let them know that there's been a scheduling issue, and that we'll be contacting them to set up new dates soon."

Paula nodded, "And we're not sharing any information about anything, other than the schedule conflict, right?"

Gina nodded her agreement. "Yes, and I don't plan to let anyone else know about this, so that we can keep it contained. Hopefully, he'll bounce right back. No sense putting a panic out there just yet with the company, the bookstores and his fans."

Paula nodded. She often looked at Rick as the largest cash cow in her pasture, but she did care enough for him to be worried about more than just his future income potential. Her gut was churning on this news. Always prepared to face any negative fallout, she feared the worst may be just around the corner and began to mentally steel herself for the road ahead for her client.

####

The next few hours blended together for Martha and Alexis. Richard was sedated and unconscious, the whoosh from the ventilator tubes forcing air into his lungs, the lines and tubes filling his body with fluids and medication, while other tubes were inserted to drain the fluids out of his body. The constant blip on the heart monitor screen was a welcome sight, as it meant he was still alive.

Martha Rodgers sat at her son's bedside, her hand gently holding his. She hadn't been one for prayers before this ordeal, but she found herself praying frequently, begging for another chance for her son.

"Richard, I didn't raise a quitter. You face this and you beat this, do you hear me? You have so much to look forward to when we get back home. You have so many friends that will want to know how you are doing and what they can do to help."

The older woman's eyes moistened with as yet unshed tears. Soon, a tear escaped the bank of her eyes, and rolled down her cheek. "I know I don't say it often, but I love you, kiddo. I want you to be happy, and I know that things are rough now, but I think that you know you have to beat this. You have to, for yourself, for Alexis and me…and for Katherine. I know you love her, and I know what I saw in that bank - she loves you, too. Come back to her…to all of us. Please, my son."

The serenity in the room was punctuated by the flashing lights on the cardiac monitor. Within moments, the room was filled with nurses, doctors and other health care workers. One nurse helped Martha stand and escorted her from the room, to allow for space to work. The nurse instructed her to return to the waiting area, and they would come talk to her as soon as possible.

Martha's heart plunged into her stomach with fear for the wellbeing of her son. He and Alexis were all she had for family. He just had to be ok. "Please Richard, live." The mother pleaded to any higher power that could hear her plea.

####

The day had not been going well for Kate Beckett. The detective had so far burned her hand on the expresso machine as it splashed hot milk onto the extremity, scalding her slightly. She then had her computer monitor stop working, preventing her from completing her case paperwork until someone from the IT department came to replace the device. Now, she is sopping up freshly spilled coffee as it flowed across the single DD-5 form she had completed, meaning she'd have to re-do that one, as well. Kate made quick work of the spill and dropped the soggy form into the shred bin. Returning to her desk, her eyes settled once again onto the empty chair that was normally occupied by her partner.

"You just fill your life with impossible relationships, don't ya, Katie?" She murmured to herself as she sat back in her chair and tried to force her mind on the task at hand. She needed to focus, but her gut told her something was off. She couldn't believe it, but she was actually looking forward to her session this week with her therapist, Dr. Carter Burke. Given the recent events, they had a lot to discuss.

She wanted to talk to Castle. But every time she began to call him, it was as if a wall of fear flooded her, forcing her to end the call before even hitting send. She missed him, and she needed to see him. He was more than just a friend and a partner, but she was afraid to admit that even to herself.

"You stare at the screen like you think it's just gonna start doing the paperwork on its own!" Kate was startled into the present by the booming call from Javier Esposito. Javi had spotted the senior detective lost in thought and decided to snap her out of it.

"Don't I wish, Espo! But if there was an easier way to finish this, I have no doubt you'd have already found it." Kate fired back to her co-worker.

Kevin Ryan approached as she responded to his partner, "Beckett, you done yet? I'm finished and I wanted to get some lunch at Remy's. My treat, what do ya say?"

"I just got my screen back working, so I'm in for the duration, unless a body drops." The senior detective replied, her lips twisting in disappointment. "Could you bring me back something?"

Ryan smiled at her, "You got it. Your usual?"

Kate took a second glance at the growing stacks of paper on her desk, and thought back to Rick and the feelings she had to face, at some point.

But not right now.

"On second thought, let's get lunch, my treat. And when we get back, you two models of efficiency can each take some of this stack, too." She said with a sly smile as she rose and grabbed her bag and jacket.

"You had to brag about being done, didn't you?" Espo said as a look of fake disgust slid onto his face. Of course, they would help her out. He turned to face Beckett and said, "Boss, we got this. It'll be knocked out in no time."

Chatting about the day's events, the three made their way out of the bullpen and towards the elevator.

####

The next day had been extremes of relief, panic, fear and absolute worry for Martha Rodgers and Alexis Castle. The long hours of waiting for any sign of improvement were punctuated with terror when Doctor Patel or one of his team would come out and update the two on any negative motion. There had been no visitation for the writer so far today, and right then, it seemed as if there was more negative than positive, and they both inwardly wondered just how much more Rick Castle could endure.

Doctors Patel and Rawlings invited the two to sit in a small consultation room, just at the end of the ICU. The small round table took up the majority of the room, but it was just large enough to accommodate the four bodies within presently. The movement had shaken Martha and Alexis from the fog they were in, from exhaustion and worry.

Dr. Patel leaned forward on the table, his hands folded in front of him. "Ms. Rodgers, Miss Castle, we wanted to bring you up to speed on what's been going on with Mr. Castle."

"Yes, please." Alexis added quickly as the physician paused to collect his words.

He continued, "Mr. Castle declined rapidly, with the severe, aggressive viral attack to his heart. As you know, he has had ventricular tachycardia episodes. There have been incidences where he has gone into cardiac arrest twice this afternoon.

Martha's face drained of color as she asked, "Doctor, is my son dead? Is that what you are telling us?"

"No, he's is still alive, due to the resuscitation efforts that have been provided. But these arrests have done considerable damage to his already weakened heart." Patel explained. "However, as his heart has continued to struggle to pump effectively, it has grown too large to be able to work properly. In addition, the continued ventricular tachycardia events and cardiac arrest has caused his heart muscle to become stretched or 'floppy', and it just can't do its job well enough to keep your son alive on its own."

Alexis reached over and took her Grandmother's hand for support, and said, "So, what are you telling us? Please, we have to know, It's all been too much!"

"We are not giving up on him, please know that." Dr. Rawlings added, "But we have to tell you the full story of what is happening. He is gravely ill. Yes, he could die, that is a definite risk. But we are going to continue to do everything we can for him."

Dr. Patel led right into where his resident left off, "And what we are going to be doing now is looking to create a bridge to transplant for Mr. Castle. His own heart is not going to be able to keep him alive alone, so we have to find him a new heart quickly. In the meantime, we are doing other supportive measures to supplement his heart, until we can provide him with a heart transplant."

"Supportive measures? What do you mean, doctor?" Alexis asked, her brow furled in curiosity.

"Well, in addition to the large number of powerful medications we have onboard at present to help stabilize your son's heart function, we have him sedated, and we've placed him on a device called an 'ECMO', which takes the blood from his body, removes the carbon dioxide and then adds oxygen back into the blood, and then we put that blood back into his body."

Martha's face filled with fear, "That sounds dreadful. And terribly complex. Will this help him long term?"

Dr. Patel shook his head, "No, but it will help him get the oxygenated blood he desperately needs, and we will also be aiming to pull the fluid from his lungs so he can breathe easier and help reduce the workload on his heart. We also plan to implant a defibrillator device that will monitor his heart and when the ventricular tachycardia begins again, it will deliver a shock to help the heart establish it's normal cardiac rhythm."

"How long will he be here and on this ECMO?" Alexis asked, her mind going to her father and his quality of life. He was a vital, free spirited man; he would never stand for being kept tied down, unconscious for the rest of his life.

"I don't have a crystal ball, obviously, but he will be here in the hospital for a while. Many of the patients I have treated with similar conditions have been hospitalized as long as a month - but that's not a guaranteed timeline by any means. ECMO will be done initially, and then when we can get his levels back to normal, we will implant the defibrillator into his chest, and that will remain until we get a heart for him."

Martha's eyes's closed partially in thought as she asked, "When will that be?"

"Well, we don't have a certain timeline, as there are several factors involved with locating a heart for your son." Dr. Patel explained to the pair. "We have to be higher in acuity for transplant, and there are other criteria, as well, not to mention that there has to be a heart that matches with him."

Pausing for a moment, he added, "I believe his chances are good that he'll be ranked higher risk, due to the poor condition of his heart, but I have to caution you, there are no guarantees. Unfortunately, there are patients out there that die while waiting for a transplant."

Alexis grabbed Martha's arm as she stood beside her, offering each other support at this news. "Thank you for your candor, Doctor." The elder female offered to the physician.

To be continued...


	7. Chapter 7

The Heart of the Matter

by LindaInDC

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction based on Castle, the ABC show, also owned by Andrew W. Marlowe and other cool, brilliant people. I do not own the characters, but have written this work with no intent to gain profit from it. It is for reading enjoyment only. The story, names and places are fictional, and any similarities to real persons, places and events are purely coincidental.

Thank you for reading, providing reviews and favoriting/following this story. You all are amazing.

Note: July 24, 2016- this is not additional chapters in this update. I am just breaking down this one massive post into smaller ones allowing a chapter per page.

A great big note of thanks to Sass, who helped me with her magical doctor powers to square away the clinical side of this story. I wanted to do this justice, without writing a clinical textbook.

* * *

 **Chapter Seven**

"So, let me make sure I have this correct. You and your partner, Mr. Castle, celebrated a closed case with colleagues, had too much to drink and woke the next day married. Is that correct?" Dr. Burke asked, his face impassive and calm, despite the news he had just heard.

Kate sat across from her therapist, listening to him recap the events that had transpired. "Yes."

Burke took notes in his book, then looked up to ask, "What went through your mind when you discovered that you were married?"

"Well," Kate began, "I was confused at first. We were both hungover from the night before, and were trying to put the facts together."

"And then?" The therapist asked.

"I was disappointed." The detective replied tentatively. She looked at her hands as she thought out the events.

Burke leaned forward slightly, "Disappointed? At what, exactly?"

Kate paused before replying, "I couldn't believe that we had done that. I was disappointed in myself for losing control and doing something that I thought I'd never do."

The therapist commented, "You've expressed in other sessions that you had feelings for your partner. You said you would never do what you did. Did you find it impossible that you would ever see yourself in a position to advance a relationship with him?"

"I…don't know. But I wasn't thinking I'd be married, at least not then!" Beckett exclaimed, frustration building in her voice.

Burke jotted a note in his book, then returned to questioning. "So what is the status of your marriage now?"

"Castle and I met with his attorney to determine if it was legal. It was. I wanted to file immediately to terminate the marriage."

Burke nodded, "And did you file?"

Taking a deep breath, Kate replied, "No. Castle wants me to think about this. He thinks we should be together and he thinks that keeping this marriage would force us to face the idea of being together." Kate rose and began pacing behind the chair.

The therapist looked intrigued, "So it would seem. You seem agitated, what are you thinking about his idea?"

"Castle is just being difficult. We talked a bit about this. We argued and he asked me to leave. We spoke again the next day, and I agreed to wait until he came back from a book tour so we could think and talk about the possibility of us having a future together." Kate let out a self-deprecating laugh at the end of the reply.

"Why the laugh? You seem a little resentful at the plea from your husband." Burke commented.

"He's not my husband!" Kate replied, anger laced with the words.

"Legally, he is your husband." Burke clarified. "But let's go back to the conversation you had. What made you agree with his request?"

Kate wasn't proud of the events that transpired. Her head was bowed, and she didn't make eye contact as she spoke. "I said some hurtful things, and he looked…he looked like I had slapped him. He was just so bright, so…hopeful. I couldn't…" She paused.

"Couldn't what?" The therapist prompted.

"I couldn't accept that from him. I'm afraid…I'm not ready. I'm afraid of losing him as a friend, as my partner. I don't want that to change." Tears flowed slowly down the detective's cheeks as she began to release emotions associated with the events she related.

"Kate, I know you say that you don't want your relationship with Mr. Castle to change, but, without sounding trite, nothing stays the same. Every relationship, friendship, every partnership changes with time and events that make up our lives. The events that took place this week have already changed how you and he see one another. You have to decide how to take that change, and what you want in your life, given that you are on new footing with him."

Beckett's closed her eyes, forcing tears to flow harder. She and Castle would never be the same, it's true. But she couldn't lose him, and if she didn't think this through carefully, she could do just that.

Burke paused a moment, letting Kate process what they had discussed, before continuing. "Kate, we have talked in earlier sessions about the wall that you have around yourself. Do you see Castle as someone who could ever find his way behind that wall?"

Kate returned to her chair as she thought over her reply, "I told him once that I had to be able to knock down that wall before I could have the relationship I wanted, be the person that I wanted."

The therapist, his voice calm and relaxed, asked, "Are there any circumstances where you would feel that someone in your life could help you take down that wall?"

Kate was silent for a long moment, before she replied, "I haven't ever considered that. I've always thought that I had to do it alone, and then I could have someone."

Carter Burke smiled as he replied, "For this week, I would like you to consider that question. Think about the possibility of someone helping, and what qualities they would need to possess. Then think about ways that you two could work together on the change."

####

Alexis Castle slowly walked to the glass door of her father's hospital room. She knew most of the staff already in the Cardiac ICU, and had his treatment schedule committed to memory, as well, over the last week and a half. There had been so many changes in his condition, at first, it seemed they would lose the writer. Now, it seemed that he was beginning to see more positive changes, as Rick had been removed from the ventilator just a few days ago, and was placed once again on a pressurized oxygen mask, resting just over his face.

A tall man in dark green scrubs stood at her father's bedside, providing a breathing treatment. Keegan, as he introduced himself, was a respiratory therapist assigned to Richard Castle, and seemed to have a pleasant bedside manner. Rick quietly complied with the man's basic instructions regarding his breathing treatment, and his eyes grinned in relief when he saw his daughter as she made her way to the foot of his bed.

There had been so much that had occurred over the last days to help Richard Castle in his fight for life and recovery. Alexis and her Grandmother had slowly begun to get used to seeing the effect on the once effervescent writer in various stages of advanced medical support. In addition to his oxygen, Rick had wires attached to his chest in various places, IV lines running into his upper chest and another in an artery in his arm, a catheter connected to a bag that drained urine from his bladder, and other sensors and monitors that measured vital signs, and overall patient condition. A pair of vinyl-looking boots were attached to either leg, applying pressure at random times to his legs to help prevent blood clots. Several devices had a hum or whirr of its own, that when combined made an odd type of white noise that Alexis actually found relaxing.

The most disconcerting thing that Rick's family had to face was the ECMO device. It was basically a large clear set of lines that came out from a machine and ran up his left side, over his head and connecting to the right side of his neck. This device carried the blood out of and back into his body, essentially providing the wherewithal to remain alive. The blood was visible through the lines, and it was indeed daunting to see it connected to a loved one. Alexis was grateful that the device had just been removed from her father, as he was sedated while on it. Now, since he was more alert, she could interact with him a little more, although he was still so weak.

"Mr. Castle, I am finished with you for now. I'll be back in a couple hours to check in on you again." Keegan informed, his voice a silky Scottish brogue, exotic in it's delivery. Any other time, and Alexis would have considered flirting with the young, handsome man, but given the stress and the situation, it never even crossed her mind.

Rick nodded and the man departed, leaving his daughter in his line of sight. He looked weary, fatigued and pale. Alexis spoke as she saw him trying to welcome her. "Dad, rest your voice. Your throat is probably a bit sore from the ventilator tube. Just nod yes or no, ok?"

Rick nodded "Yes."

"Good," Alexis began. "Would you like some ice chips?"

Yes. Alexis scooped a couple small slivers of ice with a spoon and placed them at her father's lips, as he held up one edge of the oxygen mask.

"Are you in any pain?"

"No."

Alexis began, "We are holding down the fort and have let Gina and Paula know your status. We call every other day to give an update. Nothing has been shared with the press, other than you had a conflict and would reschedule the tour."

"Yes."

"So don't worry about anything, just focus on resting and getting better so we can get you home. I love you, Dad." Alexis said to her father, a small, brave smile filled her face, trying to convey confidence to her father.

"Yes."

Rick, looking at his daughter, mouthed "I love you, Pumpkin".

The interaction had nearly wiped him out, and Alexis could see he needed to rest. "Grams and I are here with you, and we'll come back in later. Get some more rest."

Rick did not have the energy to do more than smile lightly, so he did, as Alexis turned to leave his room.

Rick was tired, but sleep did not come. He closed his eyes, and allowed his mind to drift back across the thousands of miles that separated him and Kate. He knew that she would be hurt that he didn't tell her of his condition. But, frankly, the few days before he had gotten ill, he had begun to think about all that had happened. He just could not wrap his mind around the fact that he had actually married Kate Beckett.

He couldn't blame Kate for wanting to end things, but he just wanted to make her stop and think before just tossing the marriage aside. Before tossing him aside. Her main theme was that she wasn't ready. But his concern ran through his mind, Would she ever be ready? Did she really want to be ready, or at least ready for him?

His emotions got messy when he thought about his "wife". She was so determined she was right, and she was clearly hiding something from his as to what was keeping her from seeing the possibility that they could be wonderful together.

Kate said she didn't want to lose him as her partner, but she didn't realize that by denying her feelings for him, she had hurt him, and things couldn't just go back like they were.

But the grand slam of the day was the fact that he had gotten ill. His life was literally upended. He knew he was quite ill, but as he had been out of it, he hadn't really spoken to the doctors to learn what had happened, beyond the information they shared when he first got in the hospital. But, his gut told him, that based on all the stuff attached to him, and the fact he was so weak, it had to be serious. And if that were the case, then it might just be that the whole wedding thing would very well just be rendered moot anyway.

####

Alexis made her way back out of the unit, down the hall and into the waiting area occupied by her Martha. The family Matriarch smiled as she welcomed the young woman into her arms for a hug. "How is he?" she asked her Grand Daughter.

Alexis slid into the chair beside the woman as she replied, "He's more awake, but he just looks so ill. He looks like he's just so pale and exhausted. I told him that Gina and Paula were being updated every other day and not to worry about anything but getting rest and recovering."

"Good dear. That way he won't worry since he knows that they are handling things. How are you holding up, kiddo?" Martha asked her, as she dried a stray tear from the younger Castle's cheek.

"I'm tired, but ok. I know we can't spend much time with him, but I am glad we can see him." Alexis stated plainly.

"Me too." Martha agreed. "But we need to go to the hotel, get cleaned up and take a nap. The staff have our information if we are needed. But we have to look out for ourselves too. We have to be at tip top shape when it comes time to get him that new heart."

Alexis didn't want to leave her father, but she knew that Grams was right. "OK, if you think it's alright."

Martha hugged her again, trying her best to share comfort with her, "I do."

Taking a moment before leaving, Martha could hold her curiosity in no longer. "Darling, your father has been in love with Katherine for a while now. I know that he wanted to tell her how he felt. What ever could have happened that he felt the need to keep this from her? I mean, even if she was still only a work colleague, they seemed close enough that this would be important to share with her."

Taking a deep breath, Alexis shook her head as she replied, "I don't know, Grams. He told me that something had happened. He said that he didn't know if they would be able to fix it this time. So, whatever it was, he seemed really down, like he was hurt. It must be serious if he felt that it was over for them."

Martha looked stricken. "Oh dear, I can't imagine what happened either. But I hope that he will reconsider letting his friends in from the precinct. Perhaps I could let Detective Ryan know?"

"Grams, I don't think so." Alexis commented.

"Why? He has to know that they would like to know!" Martha was stymied at the secrecy.

Alexis answered, "Think about it. He doesn't want Beckett notified. If you call Detectives Ryan or Esposito, or even Dr. Parrish, they are going to feel obligated to tell her. That would go against Dad's wishes."

Martha thought then replied, "I guess he knows his reasons. It pains me to shut them all out, given all they have gone through together. I just hope that at some point, he'll let them in. He's going to need all the love and support he can get. I have a feeling that this is only the start of this journey."

Alexis stroked the arm of the elder woman, trying to provide some level of comfort, as she replied, "His reasons are just that - his. I know that it seems sometimes that the best thing is to jump in and help, even if he doesn't like it, but I think that he needs to work this out on his own. Hopefully, it will give him something to focus on while he recovers."

Martha turned her head towards her granddaughter, pride showing on her face. "How did you get to be so wise, my dear?"

Alexis hugged her as she answered, "Just plenty of experience living with and loving you two. Somebody had to be the grownup!"

It was the first time in days that the two had shared any laughter, and it felt like a balm to their souls.

To be continued...


	8. Chapter 8

The Heart of the Matter

by LindaInDC

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction based on Castle, the ABC show, also owned by Andrew W. Marlowe and other cool, brilliant people. I do not own the characters, but have written this work with no intent to gain profit from it. It is for reading enjoyment only. The story, names and places are fictional, and any similarities to real persons, places and events are purely coincidental.

Thank you for reading, providing reviews and favoriting/following this story. You all are amazing.

Note: July 24, 2016- this is not additional chapters in this update. I am just breaking down this one massive post into smaller ones allowing a chapter per page.

A great big note of thanks to Sass, who helped me with her magical doctor powers to square away the clinical side of this story. I wanted to do this justice, without writing a clinical textbook.

* * *

 **Chapter Eight**

Kevin Ryan sat at his desk, in a pensive mood. Things had been quiet relatively quiet around the twelfth over the last month. The cases they did have were solved quickly, or the perp turned themselves in and gave an easy full confession that was easy to confirm. While some cops would relish the downtime to catch up on work or take another shot at cold cases, truth be told, It made Ryan's teeth itch. He would never wish for someone to be murdered, mind you, but he just longed to be out in the field, working with Beckett and Espo, and listening to the off the wall theories that Castle could spin with ease.

"Yo there, bro, what's cooking in that mind of yours? Jenny sweating you about what you do all day?" Espo teased, trying to inject a little humor into the day, and hopefully start some conversation. The bullpen was too quiet.

Ryan startled a little at his partner's voice, then looked up at him to reply, "Nah, I was just checking my messages. Isn't it odd that we haven't heard from Castle the whole time he's been gone? Normally, we'd get something by now."

Ryan's partner, Javier Esposito slid his chair around to fully face his friend. "Hey, you remember that time when his signing was next room over in a hotel to that beauty pageant? What was it called?"

Ryan laughed as he recalled, "Miss Hydroelectric".

"Yeah, that's it! Miss Hydroelectric. Here he was for two days straight, signing books with crowds of his fans, and the man still was able to take some pictures of those honeys and send them our way." Javi continued, "That man has the best luck ever when it comes to being in the right place to connect with the ladies. It's like he has a sixth sense or somethin'! I think I still have those on my phone, man, they were hot! I still can't figure out how he didn't come back with one of them."

Ryan allowed himself to think back briefly to that week. Some of those ladies were so beautiful, it made his upper lip sweat! After a moment of reflection, he returned to his original question. "But that's my point, don't you find it odd that he hasn't even said 'hi' in a moment of boredom, bragged about a beautiful girl, or even asked about our caseload?"

Javi frowned slightly at the question. "Well, maybe. I don't know. I mean, it can't be anything serious or we'd have heard something in the paper, or from little Castle or Mrs. R. I bet he's out there enjoying himself fully, if you know what I mean?"

"No Espo, I don't. What do you mean?" The conversation was intercepted by their senior detective and friend, Kate Beckett.

Javi turned bashful all of a sudden, while Ryan found something on his computer to study intently. Kate was undeterred, "What do you think Castle's doing while he's away? I think Ryan and I would both love to know."

"I just mean that perhaps the reason we hadn't heard from him, is because he may have found a companion to keep him busy while he's signing all those books." Javi responded, his voice taking on a slightly nervous tone.

It was never a good idea to flaunt Castle's luck with the ladies in front of Beckett. He knew the score between them, that there was a spark there, but they were fighting it, for some reason. He had even told her so some time back. Castle wasn't still there because he needed more research for his books.

Beckett quietly sucked her teeth at the answer. "Well, if he did, I'm sure that you two would have heard all about it by now."

Ryan looked up when Beckett replied, to study her facial expression. She looked off. If truth be told, she had looked that way since Castle had left for this tour. "So you haven't heard from him either?" He asked her.

Kate's voice left her, as she looked down as she shook her head. Her gut told her that they weren't ok, and that scared her. She felt like something was wrong, but convinced herself that it was just due to the separation and the situation surrounding their nuptials. "Besides, like Javi said, Martha or Alexis would call if there was something wrong."

Kate projected her best tone of confidence, in order to alleviate any worry the boys may have had. But did she do a good enough of a job of convincing herself, too?

####

Paula Haas sat at her desk, pencil in hand. Unlike her contemporaries, she still preferred writing out statements and then committing them the ether after the fact. It was how she was trained, and it was comfortable for her…it made her feel on top of her game, so she wasn't about the go changing that any time soon. Her work was interrupted by the phone.

Sighing, she hit the speaker phone, "Kimmy, didn't I say I didn't want to be disturbed?"

Her assistant was immediately apologetic, "I'm so sorry, ma'am, but you said to always let you know when someone was calling in regards to Mr. Castle. I have Gina Cowell on line two."

Saying nothing else, she ended the conversation with the push of a button, which also answered the line that Castle's editor and second ex-wife currently occupied. "Gina, what's the word on Ricky?"

Gina's voice filled the handset, "I spoke with Martha just a while ago, and he's still in bad shape, but they seem to have him more stable. I don't know all the details, but they are going to try to have him moved back to one of the hospitals here in New York, if they can get him to a point he can tolerate the trip."

Paula sighed before responding, "I've been canceling his stops, a week at a time, just to keep it lower key, and so far, that's worked. But we have bigger issues now."

"The Children's Hospital gala?" Gina surmised.

Paula confirmed, "Yes, the gala. That's a much higher profile deal. Two of the syndicated entertainment shows are scheduled to cover the event, and we had also set up interviews with them, to help tie in the book with the charity coverage. I have to notify them today, tomorrow at the latest, and it's gonna be on their radar as to knowing why he's not coming."

"Well, we have to come up with something to satisfy them, Martha was adamant that his health situation not be shared. If he wants to let the public know, then once he's able to, he can set that up." Gina explained.

Paula proposed, "How about I say that Black Pawn has called to meet with him, and will be sending him abroad to do some unique research for the novel he's currently writing? If contacted, you can confirm he's been called away and have no comment regarding the rest?"

Gina took a moment to mull it over in her head, then answered, "That should work. Send me a copy of the statement, as well. Fortunately, having majority interest in Black Pawn, I don't have to divulge this to anyone over here, just yet. But, that may be forthcoming."

Paula sat back in her chair as she said, "OK, I'll email it to you. Thanks for taking point with Martha. Your status as ex-wife has to have some challenge to all this."

Gina frowned, she hated talking about herself, "Not at all. Martha and I get along well. We never had any issues between us, so we are basically amicable. I'll let you know what I learn as I hear from the family. Talk soon."

Resting the phone on her chin for a moment, she tapped it against her lip a few times, then lowered the handset onto the cradle. She spoke aloud to no one, "Ricky you better hold on and pull through. If you even think about dying, I'm gonna kill you!"

####

Five weeks had passed since the day that changed Rick Castle's life forever. The writer had teetered on the brink of death for several days, but he had begun to stabilize and it seemed that he was well on his way to a heart transplant, provided that one came available. Dr. Patel joined Martha and Alexis in Rick's room to discuss his progress and ongoing plans.

Doctor Patel sat in the chair at the foot of Rick's bed. Alexis sat on the bed with her dad. Now that the most daunting of the equipment had been disconnected, there was opportunity to be physically closer to him, which provided both father and daughter the calming connection of physical touch and familiarity.

"I wanted to talk about our next steps with you, Mr. Castle. Your fluid buildup in your lungs and extremities had resolved to the point we took you off the ECMO, and your continued medication regime should help maintain that status." Dr. Patel advised. "We now have you on the AICD, which is an internal device that will help keep your heart rhythm as it should be, or else it can either convert or defibrillate your heart to change the rhythm back to a more normal one."

Castle nodded, "I felt it last night. it hurt a bit, when it fired, I have to say. That's going to take some getting used to."

Dr. Patel smiled in sympathy, then continued, "Yes, it will. We are setting up the air ambulance so that we can transfer you back to New York. I have spoken to your primary physician, and he is referring you to Dr. Harper Thommas, one of the best cardio-thoracic surgeons in the country. She's got extensive transplant experience, and you'll not find any better than she is when you need a new heart. In fact, she has already conferred with us, and she has made herself available to fly back with you on the air ambulance."

Martha and Alexis were surprised at this good news. It seemed Rick would be in good hands. Martha smiled and replied, "My goodness! She sounds dedicated."

Dr. Patel nodded in agreement. "Harper and I did our residency together. I can attest firsthand to her dedication. She is going to admit you to Presbyterian for an overnight observation upon your return, and if all is well, you could be home as early as the next day."

Rick smiled, fatigue still clouding his gaze, and asked, "When will this be?

"It looks to be in three days." Dr. Patel estimated. "You will have a lot of work behind the scenes going on on our end, with social services setting up the transport, and any medical equipment you may need, and also setting up referrals for nursing care once you are home. Additionally, we will be continuing the education we have been sharing with you on how to prepare for surgery, and how to recover while you await a transplant, and what to expect afterwards."

Rick looked at his mother and daughter, not daring to hope too much yet at the chance to once again go home. The excitement began to wear him out, his eyelids drooping a bit as he tried to stave off sleep.

Martha, feeling protective of her son, saw this battle going on and said, "Don't fight it, get your rest."

The two Castle women waled quietly out of the room with Dr. Patel, where he led them to a small alcove just outside his room. Turning to the two, he asked, "Do you have any questions or concerns I can help with?"

Alexis nodded, then replied, "I do. He seems so tired all the time, and I know its related to his heart, but will that improve?"

Dr. Patel answered quietly, "Not much, really, until we can get him the new heart. He may have better days than others, but he won't improve significantly until then."

Alexis, her mental checklist in place, asked another question, "I know that there's no certain time as to when he may get a heart, but what is your estimate for how long he can hold out before he needs the transplant?"

Patel paused, then replied, "To be honest, not very long, due to the severe damage the viral infection caused. It's not so much the number of days, but how he holds out clinically. We've placed him with the transplant organization, and have indicated that he is in the high risk category. He won't be able to sustain himself without a new heart soon. He may be at home now, but there may come a time when he will have to go back to the hospital to keep him going. You and your grandmother will need to help keep him talking, and working through all of this. My team will also help find support for him, in particular once he has the transplant. He is going through quite a massive life change, and he'll need the support of everyone that cares about him to do well."

Alexis and Martha had no further questions, and Patel excused himself and promised that they would be hearing from his team later in the day.

####

Rick had a lot of time while he waited in his room over the last weeks. Resting and thinking seemed to be the only things he had to fill his time in-between nurses and doctors checking on him, and spending brief time with his mother and Alexis. He rested and then when he woke, returned back to his mental agenda.

One major subject he thought about was his chances of recovery. He was told that he had already experienced multiple episodes of cardiac arrest. "This was as close to death as he could be", he mused.

He wondered how long would he have until he would die if he didn't have a new heart. Rick recalled the education that he had about heart transplants, where even if he got a new heart, there was still a chance that his body would reject it, and he could face death once again.

While he had the imagination of a child at times, once he saw things for what they were, he was also a pragmatist. There was no way around this. He was sick, with a virus having devastated his heart, rendering it little more than useless. He might die waiting to get a new heart, or from some complication prior to getting one. In the interim, his family would have to bear the weight of caring for him, little more than an invalid. It was tough to see past the present situation, for a second chance.

The other major subject he pondered was Kate Beckett. He replayed the two passionate conversations that they had before he left town. He was so sure that this could all work out, if she could just step back and look at it with a fresh perspective. He thought that time could help with that. But now, it seemed that time could be his enemy. It pained him to think that he might never get to be with her, to be married to her and most of all, to share a life with her as more than a plucky sidekick/work partner. Would it hurt her less to let her go so that she wasn't chained to him, or to try and force her to be in a relationship out of obligation, when she didn't feel ready, hoping she would find her way?

He grieved for his lost life he had just a few weeks ago, for the family he would tax with having to care and worry over and about him, and for the life that he would miss with Kate. He knew that if they could connect, they would be magical, as theirs was one of the great love stories, just waiting to take flight.

But now, it didn't matter, anymore. He knew what he had to do.

To be continued...


	9. Chapter 9

The Heart of the Matter

by LindaInDC

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction based on Castle, the ABC show, also owned by Andrew W. Marlowe and other cool, brilliant people. I do not own the characters, but have written this work with no intent to gain profit from it. It is for reading enjoyment only. The story, names and places are fictional, and any similarities to real persons, places and events are purely coincidental.

Thank you for reading, providing reviews and favoriting/following this story. You all are amazing.

Note: July 24, 2016- this is not additional chapters in this update. I am just breaking down this one massive post into smaller ones allowing a chapter per page.

A great big note of thanks to Sass, who helped me with her magical doctor powers to square away the clinical side of this story. I wanted to do this justice, without writing a clinical textbook.

* * *

 **Chapter Nine**

Martha and Alexis had a busy day, the day before Richard was to be released to go back to New York via air ambulance. They met with the medical team and social services to make sure nothing was overlooked. Every precaution was taken, and all were satisfied that they were ready. The two Castle ladies sat in the private dining room awaiting the arrival of Dr. Thommas. The dining area, in the back of the main hospital cafeteria, was a space reserved for VIPs that needed a more secure or private setting to eat. Rick's celebrity status merited this for his family.

Alexis was the first to spot the awaited physician. She spotted the woman through the tinted glass, and called her grandmother's attention for the arrival. Dr. Thommas was tall, and striking. She looked as if she could have just stepped off the runway of fashion show, and appeared in front of them. Her hair was light brown, with the hint of blonde highlights, her eyes crystal blue and she was blessed with high cheekbones that any woman would envy. She strode towards them with confidence, and as Alexis would later describe it, "The woman rocked the black Armani suit she wore to the meeting."

The two were slightly stunned when she glided to them, stuck out her hand, and said, "Ms. Rodgers and Miss Castle, I presume? I'm Harper Thommas. She we talk about how we're gonna get Mr. Castle home to New York?"

The two recovered quickly, and were comforted at the woman's friendly nature. She had a great bedside manner, it seemed, and they were at ease with her. They were confident that the trip home would be as smooth as could be.

"Doctor, this may sound presumptuous, but how do you have the time to drop everything and come across the country to escort Richard home? Martha asked, trying to not be too blunt.

The surgeon smiled, and replied, "First off, please call me Harper. You're right, this is not my normal routine, but I spoke with Dr. Patel and I have a confession to make. My plans are not as altruistic as you think." She said with a laugh. "I came over to see my fiancé, Dr. Kevin Tanner. He and I both did our residencies with Dr. Patel and both are now on staff here. Kevin is in Pediatric Oncology, and is just getting settled. I had some down time, and took time off and made arrangements to come early. So, now I'm headed to New York. So really, it's no trouble."

"How darling!" Martha exclaimed, "And we get to benefit from your skill at the same time. Serendipity is wonderful!"

Harper smiled at the warm response she had received, and then focused on the task at hand. "OK, so I am just coming back from meeting Mr. Castle, and rounding on him with Dr. Patel. We are more than ready for the flight in the morning. I'll be in early to check him out one last time before we take him by helicopter to the airport for the 7 am flight."

Alexis looked at her phone, "And we will meet you at the airport. I have all the details from the company, and we'll get to the gate and be escorted onto the plane once Dad is ready."

Harper smiled in satisfaction, "Perfect. Now, I suggest that you go up and visit with Mr. Castle, and then go and make it an early night. You'll appreciate the extra rest tomorrow. Doctor's orders."

Martha and Alexis were enamored with the breath of fresh air that this woman brought in with her. It made the experience a bit more easier to take. Eagerly, they said their goodbyes to the young doctor and made their way to spend time with Castle.

####

Kate Beckett was hiding from the world.

Sort of.

She knew that she couldn't hide out all day, but her thoughts were keeping her in bed a little longer than normal, as she reviewed the previous day. Yesterday, she had a bad day of epic proportions. This didn't really surprise her, because in the last five weeks, this was slowly becoming her new normal.

Her troubles started as soon as she got to work. She got chewed out by Captain Gates over excessive overtime for one of their cases from the previous month. Castle had asked a question that then spun the group onto a hunt for facts that ended up being not so helpful, after all. She promised to go through the Captain before authorizing any overtime for her or her team, going forward.

Next, she was late for her afternoon session with Dr. Burke, as she was tied up in interrogation, questioning a suspect. When they did meet, the talk was hard for her. Continuing from the last session, he seemed fixated on the idea that she was placing too much importance on her need to be alone, fix things and then move on with Castle, or anyone romantically.

She recalled how Dr. Burke sat across from her and asked, "Kate, you know that sometimes our expectations need to be re-evaluated. We've done it here with your recovery. Think back to when you were shot. What did you do after you left the hospital?"

The detective leaned back into the chair and began to recall the milestones of her recovery. "After I left the hospital, I went to my Dad's cabin to heal up, and then I came back to the city, did my physical and psych evaluations to let me return to work."

Burke nodded in satisfaction at her answer. He asked, "So when you went to the cabin, were you alone the whole time?"

Kate shook her head as she replied, "No, of course not. My dad stayed with me until I was able to get around more on my own."

The therapist nodded again, "Good. So did you consider it a failure that you needed him there at first?"

"Well, no. I couldn't do for myself alone, yet." Kate defended.

"And when you came back and were able to return to work, were you at full capacity when you go your badge back?" Burke asked, his eyes intently looking at her as she thought her response.

Kate shook her head, "No, I had to have physical therapy with Roger for weeks after I got back."

Dr. Burke said, "I see. So do you consider that time as a failure for you?"

Kate was perplexed, "What do you mean?"

"Well, if we apply the same measure to your physical recovery that you are placing on your emotional recovery, it would seem that your physical recovery was a dismal failure. Do you feel that to be true?" Burke asked, his facial expression remaining calm, professional.

Kate looked at him as if her were insane, "Of course not! I healed to the best I could, and was able to return to work a week early and finish healing up as I went along."

Burke gave a small smile as he replied, "So why would you not also be able to do that emotionally, as well? You've been taking your sessions seriously, and putting in the work towards your recovery. You know what you want, and what it will take to get there, but just like you went back to work, you don't have to shut yourself off emotionally until you are 'perfect'. There is no perfect. You could lean on your friends and family, or even a romantic connection to help you finish healing, much like you could in your physical recovery."

Kate heard him, but she needed time to process this. It went against everything she had written into her "plan". Could she let Rick in and let him dive in together with her to knock down the walls together? She left his office with much to reflect on before the next session. It seemed the impossible task, in her mind.

Burke laid out the words plainly, her heart was not letting it go. Could it really be that simple?

Her prospect at an immediate breakthrough hit a snag when she returned to work. Her biggest fear was realized as she returned to her desk.

"Excuse me, I didn't know we had a new cop in homicide!" Espo exclaimed, and then asked, "Ryan, did you know about this?"

Ryan made a funny expression on his face as he replied, "I had no idea! Who is it?"

Kate looked at the two like they were insane. There were no open slots in the division. Taking in their facial expressions, she knew something was up. "Spare me the buildup, what's this about?"

Espo leaned against the side of her desk, as he related events that transpired while she was away. "The desk sergeant took a call and sent it to me, since he didn't know the person that the caller was requesting. It seems that there is a Detective Kate Castle working amongst us here at the twelfth."

Kate said nothing, as the color drained from her face. Thinking on her toes, she commanded, "Follow me, now. Both of you!" She led them rapidly towards Interrogation 1. Holding the door open, she motioned for them to go inside. Her heart pounding in her ears, she entered behind them and closed the door, demanding, "What the hell are you talking about?"

Javi leaned against the table, facing Kate, who was standing with her arms crossed, in a protective stance. He replied, "The caller was a Mr. Reynolds, of the Royal Cheverly Hotel."

His partner joined in on the ribbing, "Don't you recall that being the name of the hotel bar we went to when we closed the murder of the Mayor's college friend, last month, partner?"

Javi replied, his voice full of sarcasm, "Why, yes it was!"

Kate was verging on the edge of committing homicide herself. Anger building slowly, her voice lowered a note as she spoke, "What the hell are you getting at? I don't have time for games."

Seeing her level of panic, the boys decided to end their razzing and get to the story at hand. Javi began, "OK, ok. So Mr. Reynolds called to the precinct, looking for you, or rather, Mrs. Kate Castle. Seems he has some engraved wedding glasses for you and your husband, from your wedding there at the hotel? He couldn't get in touch with Castle, so he had your card and called you here."

Kate slid into a chair at the table, leaned forward and put her head in her hands. This wasn't supposed to be this way. No one was supposed to find out.

"Beckett, what's going on? Are you two secretly married?" Ryan asked her, his voice low.

Kate sighed and spent the next few minutes relating the events at "The Hitching Post". Not one to share her private life with her coworkers to this degree, she grew quiet. This was humiliating, and she couldn't even talk to Castle about this. Ryan and Espo, for their side of the story, were flummoxed that they had missed the festivities and hadn't found out sooner.

She shared - at a high level - that she and Castle were still deciding what to do, and would talk when he got back from the tour. And right now, that couldn't happen soon enough. She swore the boys to secrecy, claiming that they would face a painful, ugly death if they told anyone.

She returned home last night, with no further discussion of the disclosure from Ryan and Espo, but knew that would be temporary, at best. Two glasses of wine and a hot bath later, she fell into bed and tried unsuccessfully to shut her brain off and sleep.

So this morning in bed and under the covers, she reviewed all the events from the day before. Letting out a sigh, she thought of the common denominator of them all - Castle. Rick. The writer, the conspiracy theorist, the nine year old on a sugar rush, and the best man she has ever known.

She's missed him. She's missed talking with him, spending time with him, and even just kidding around with him. Kate felt a longing in her heart for the writer, and, if she were honest with herself, she had come to love him. Deep down, she knew that she wanted more with him, and his time away, combined with the ever-on point Dr. Burke, was forcing her to come to grips with things that she previously didn't feel prepared to face. Perhaps he was right to ask her to wait until he returned to talk, after all.

"But don't tell him that, because his head would swell with pride!" She murmured to herself, letting out a small laugh as she flung the covers off and rolled towards the edge of the bed.

####

The elevator doors swung open onto the homicide floor of the Twelfth Precinct, and like any other day, the sounds of chatter, telephones and actions of chairs and doors moving filled the space. It had taken Kate a bit to get motivated to come in to work, and this was probably the latest she had been to work in six months. Striding to her desk, the detective was interrupted from her musings by her teammate, Ryan.

"Morning Beckett. You see the paper yet? Ryan asked as he folded the paper in half.

Shaking her head, Kate replied, "No. Should I?"

The Irishman gave a half smile while he lifted the paper to read aloud. "What he reading?" Javi asked, as he slid into his office chair.

Shrugging her shoulders, Kate responded, "Don't know. He hasn't started yet, so you're just in time."

Ryan began the page six article with the headline:

"Writer Withdraws from Charity Gala, Tour.

It seems that mystery writer Richard Castle has disappeared while on his annual west coast book tour. Just this week, his reps announced that he would be unable to emcee the Children's Hospital annual gala fundraiser, citing a schedule conflict. Upon further inquiry, it seems that the intrepid master of the macabre hasn't attended any of his appearances in the last month. Yes, that's right - he's made just six days out of nearly six weeks.

When questioned, Mr. Castle's agent, Paula Haas, stated that he was called to London for some time sensitive research on his next 'Nikki Heat' novel, and had no further comment. Odd though, that the female cop/muse he bases the character upon didn't accompany him on said 'research', as she is still on the job. Historically known for his epic exploits, one has to wonder just what or perhaps whom he's pouring all these weeks of, ahem, 'research' into? Anyone missing a hot actress or model from their set?"

As he finished reading the article aloud, Ryan looked up to find the color falling from Kate's face. Javi, being thinking quicker than his partner, responded, "Hey, Beckett. It's Page Six, they don't know anything, He wouldn't do that to you. Not now, especially."

Kate said nothing, but simply turned and walked away from her desk, into the long hall and past the Interrogation rooms for some privacy. She knew he wasn't expecting to hear from her, but this trumped everything. She didn't believe the article's assumptions so much as she was concerned as to why he wasn't touring. It didn't really matter what was said, she just needed to hear his voice.

Unlocking her phone, she dialed him up almost on auto pilot. The call went straight to voicemail. She thought about leaving a message, but was disappointed when the automated voice indicated his box was full, and she hung up. She opted to text him, instead. "Hey, just read the article about the gala. I hope you're ok and not too busy. We're still on for our talk, right?"

She re-read her message, took a deep breath and hit send. She stared into the phone for several minutes for a reply.

It never came.

####

Today was bittersweet for Richard Castle. He was thrilled at the opportunity to be able to get back to his town, albeit by way of air ambulance and a day or two in the hospital first. But hopefully then, he could actually go home. He longed to smell the sandalwood of his own soap, sleep on linens that weren't like sandpaper and see his own things around him. He would be sedated for most of the flight, but he got a special treat for the trip home: He got to wear some of his own clothes. It was his Flash t-shirt and plaid pajama pants, but it was so much better than the hospital gowns that he wore for most of his hospital stay.

He was also sad about the end of his relationship - whatever state it actually was - with Kate. His late night musings while in the hospital led him to the fact that the best thing for her would be a clean break. Otherwise, she'd feel obligated to stay with him, and ultimately would grow to resent him and their marriage. He thought back to how she'd be hurt and no doubt angry with him, since he promised he'd not walk away altogether, but facing the increased likelihood of his mortality made him realize that it wouldn't be fair to make her go through all that and then have him die, as well. He had a quick call with his attorney days ago, explaining the situation and a promise to meet when he returned to Presbyterian Hospital. He knew that he would have to face Kate once he got settled in back at home, so for right now, he was doing the best he could at compartmentalizing his feelings.

The other feeling he was experiencing was surprise. He was greeted last evening by none other than Paula. She looked like she was there to meet the President, as she strode in wearing a teal Michael Kors jacket dress with five inch nude Christian Louboutin pumps and matching clutch. She leaned in and placed a kiss on his cheek before ever uttering a word. "Ricky, don't scare me like that ever again! I couldn't take not knowing first hand how you were, I told them I was your sister so they'd let me in. I spoke with Martha and since there's plenty room on your medical plane, I'll be going back with you." She paused a moment to take a good look at the writer, then commented, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph, Ricky, you look like you have been through the wringer!"

Rick knew to let the woman go through all her motions before attempting to speak, which also was an energy saving measure for him, as well. "Thanks, Paula. You always knew how to make me feel special."

She leaned down slightly to use her thumb to wipe the lipstick imprint she had placed on his cheek as she spoke, "We have canceled the rest of the tour and the gala and said you had a schedule conflict and that you had to do some research for your next book - nothing too specific, and nothing about your condition. In fact, page six took it and ran with it. They think you are busy bedding some mystery actress in Europe, which is never bad for your publicity!"

Rick nodded and tried to play the part, but closed his eyes to push back the emotions around how he thought Kate would take that speculation. Paula took the move as fatigue, and chose to end the visit. "OK, I've seen you myself and will be with Mom and daughter tomorrow to get on the flight. Rest up, Ricky." With that, she turned and left.

Rick felt like an absolute heel, but given his decision to end things, perhaps this would be a way to make Kate Beckett see that a clean break was for the best, even if deception was the method.

"Mr. Castle? I'm here to transport you to the helicopter pad. You're going on a trip!" The transportation aide stated.

A breeze of light blue came up beside the aide, "And I just made it, too!" It was Dr. Thommas. Once the handoff was made by Dr. Patel and the nursing team, Harper took over the monitoring of his vital signs and heart rhythm during the first stage of the trip. The trio made their way to the roof and into the helicopter, to begin the trip home.

To be continued...


	10. Chapter 10

The Heart of the Matter

by LindaInDC

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction based on Castle, the ABC show, also owned by Andrew W. Marlowe and other cool, brilliant people. I do not own the characters, but have written this work with no intent to gain profit from it. It is for reading enjoyment only. The story, names and places are fictional, and any similarities to real persons, places and events are purely coincidental.

Thank you for reading, providing reviews and favoriting/following this story. You all are amazing.

Note: July 24, 2016- this is not additional chapters in this update. I am just breaking down this one massive post into smaller ones allowing a chapter per page.

A great big note of thanks to Sass, who helped me with her magical doctor powers to square away the clinical side of this story. I wanted to do this justice, without writing a clinical textbook.

* * *

 **Chapter Ten**

The medical jet sat fueled, inspected and ready on the tarmac at the airport, and the flight crew and ICU nurse had received the author and his physician, and he was just finished being placed onto the gurney and had adjusted it so that Rick could lie with his head up so that he could breathe easier, and also so he could see out the window. The hospital nurse had given him a mild sedative to help calm him for the helicopter ride and for the take off. He was awake but happy, given the current state of events. His sunglasses completed his pre-flight setup.

Martha, Alexis and Paula were assisted onto the plane last. "Wow!" Exclaimed Alexis as she saw the equipment and organized storage areas labeled to hold supplies, medication and the like. "It looks like a mini hospital!"

"Which hopefully for me, will not have to be used." Rick said, his smile the best it had been since he had been ill.

Harper gave a laugh and smiled as she knelt next to Rick and replied, "That's the idea!"

Paula, ever one to take advantage of an opportunity to promote her clients, grabbed her iPhone and said, "Hey that's cute! Give us a little smile, you two!" She snapped the photo on her phone.

"Paula, don't you think that given the situation, that might not be the best thing to share?" Martha asked, her actor genes kicking in.

Paula replied, "We had that article on Page Six about him not being around, I thought I'd post this on his social media feed, so folks could see he's ok. I'll crop it tight and add some color onto his cheeks. The sunglasses help a lot."

"Fine, but I would like to see it before you put it on 'The Twitface' thingie." Martha instructed, to the laughter of several in the cabin.

The pilot announced that they were clear for takeoff, and conferred with Harper that Castle was good for travel, and within moments, they were rolling onto the runway, gearing up for departure. Minutes later, the engines revved and the plane began to smoothly accelerate down the pavement, then lifting gently up into the air, taking the Castle's unique entourage back home.

Castle asked to be repositioned a bit so that he could sleep, and once that was complete, he was asleep within minutes of the plane leveling off. His defibrillator had fired a couple times over the last day or so, and he grew sore from the pain of being literally "zapped" with electricity over the last few days, so the rest was welcomed.

The plane, considering it was literally a hospital in the sky, was spacious. There was seating enough for ten, in addition to the flight and medical crew, and Castle. Meals were provided for everyone, and every comfort of a typical high end private jet trip was accommodated.

A little more than five hours later, the plane was descending in altitude for arrival at JFK airport in New York. A private ambulance was waiting for Castle and Harper, and a car for the Castle ladies, which would take them to Presbyterian Hospital. Paula had arranged for a car to take her home.

####

"Thank you, Mr. Terrazza, here's my card. If there is anything else you recall about the man you saw, please contact me." Kate said, as she slid her card into the hand of the older gentleman.

OK," Beckett began as she turned to her team after reaching the ground floor entrance to the apartment building. "The victim's son is in debt and had been known to come in to his mother's home and take things and hock them for cash. Based on what we saw on the security footage, witness statements, if COD from the Medical Examiner's office corroborates, we will probably be handing this over to robbery."

Espo and Ryan nodded and went to brief the uniforms guarding the crime scene, and have them start breaking down the perimeter. As they were a few feet from her, Kate's phone chimed with a text message. Swiftly, she pulled her phone from her pocket, only to be slightly disappointed. It wasn't a text to her from Castle; it was a text notification from one of Castle's social media accounts. Well, he's alive, at least. He's just not talking to me, it seems. She thought inwardly. A deep breath later, she clicked the link that took her to the source of the posting. The message made her heart sink.

"Travel is fun and romantic, and you never know all the beautiful people you'll meet along the way ;-) ph".

Accompanying the text was a photo. In it, sat Rick Castle, with several days of beard growth on his tanned face, his hair windswept but in a ruggedly handsome way, and his eyes covered behind sunglasses that cost more than her paycheck. A small, mysterious smile on his lips, that she had never seen before on the writer. To his left, crouched close to him was a woman, her perfect honey brown highlighted hair stylishly wrapped into a perfect french braid, which showcased her perfectly chiseled cheekbones, her perfect crystal blue eyes and her perfectly electric smile. In short, she was beautiful. Her eyes were crinkled slightly, as if she were just laughing at something Castle had just said, just as the camera snapped the photo. "Perhaps this actually is the 'reason' he blew off the tour!"

"What was that, boss?" Ryan asked, his steps bringing him back to check on her, as she had not moved from the spot he left her. Espo had already gone back to the precinct with a uniform, as he had a date with the firing range to re-qualify.

Not realizing she had said it aloud, Kate paused a moment before leaning her phone over for the detective to see. "Who is that?" he asked, his voice full of surprise.

"My successor, maybe?" Kate said, half joking. Sarcasm was her weapon when feeling threatened.

"Beckett, you two just…." Ryan looked around before continuing, "got, you know…hitched. Castle's not like that. There has to be some explanation that doesn't involve that."

Kate tried to smile, and not let this get to her, but seeing him like this after he's ignored her text hurt. "I hope you're right, Kev. I hope you're right." Beckett said with a sigh.

The Irish detective smiled to help cheer her up, stating, "Let's go back to the twelfth."

####

The hustle and bustle of the Twelfth precinct was in full swing as the detectives arrived at the precinct the next day. The sound of ringing phones, printers and computers filled the space left open by the dozens of conversations between detectives, officers and the public that were there for various purposes. Morning rapidly shifted into early afternoon.

"Beckett, I've a message back from Perlmutter…" Ryan began, before he was interrupted by a mirthful Javier Esposito, who winked as he spoke in a low tone. "You mean, Mrs. Castle, there, don't you, partner. You don't want to confuse people with who you're referencing, right?"

Ryan nervously looked from Kate and then towards his partner, He hadn't a chance yet to tell him about the photo. "Um, Javi…you might not want to …"

Espo, feeling brave, didn't see the mortified look on Beckett's face or the panicked expression on Ryan's, and replied, "Fine, but you can't keep avoiding this…answer me one question, first. You honestly don't recall any of it?"

The vein on Kate's forehead popped out and became visible as she tried to suppress her anger. Ryan attempted to "Espo, stop, something's happened".

Kate looked over to Ryan, and gave him a silent "Thank you" in her facial expression. She quietly turned and went into the break area to collect herself and calm down. Looking back at the boys, she saw the look on Javi's face as Ryan pulled up the photo and bring him up to speed. She could tell from a mile away that Javi was having a hard time believing that this was an innocent post, and unrelated to the page six article and his partner was defending Castle, as Espo's body language became more engaging, indicating a conflict. Ryan was more in a more calm stance, no doubt trying to plead his case to his partner.

Beckett thought that she had been wrong to dismiss Castle immediately, and her work on herself had helped show her that she could move on and find a relationship where they could finish tearing the walls down, together. She had thought it would be with Castle. Now she doubted if she would have him as even a friend, at this point. But right now, she had work to do, and this was getting her nowhere fast. She made her way back to her desk, only to be met by Javi and Ryan.

"Look, Beckett, I was out of line back there. I'm sorry." Came Espo's earnest apology..

Sitting down in her chair, she smiled and said, "It's ok, Javi. You didn't know."

The conversation was interrupted by a slightly older, tall, distinguished man, dressed in a very expensive suit. Every inch of his appearance screamed "Attorney".

"Excuse me, are you Detective Kate Beckett?" The man asked, his rich baritone voice filled the empty space around the trio.

Kate nodded as she replied, "Yes, I am." She found herself taking a step closer to the man out of instinct.

Reaching into his inner jacket pocket to retrieve a business card, he began, "I am Victor Barron, of Barron, Stein and Jones. I wanted to make sure that you got this directly, as requested by my client."

The man proffered a large, sealed manilla envelope, with Kate's full name on the front. After hesitating a moment, she reached out and slowly took the item from the lawyer. The boys saw what was happening, and after making a quick deduction of the purpose of this business, moved away quietly, giving their boss space.

At her acceptance of the envelope, he continued, "Please take time to review this carefully before you sign. If you have council, I would advise you to have them review it, as well. Please contact me when you are ready to move forward.."

Kate felt as if this conversation was happening in slow motion. She could hear her own voice, almost working independently of her brain, say, "Wait! Who is your client?"

Giving a brief smile, he replied, "Richard Castle. He wanted to make sure that this went through as soon as possible. He stated that, and I quote, 'He's sorry that he held things up for so long, and now, he can see that he was wrong to delay, and that it was for the best to terminate this' "His words," 'hurtful sham of a marriage' , "end of quote. In return for his acceptance, he does request that you not go to the press with news of the drunken indiscretion."

Kate could not speak, but nodded her agreement, as her throat was too tight to form words. Even just thinking about what this entailed caused her stomach to clench. She paused, trying to collect her thoughts. At her action, the attorney also nodded and replied, "Good day, Detective". At that, he turned and was gone.

Kate stood frozen, the envelope in her hands. This was not what they'd agreed upon. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, her gaze turned to the envelope. Tearing it open carefully, she reached in and pulled out the blue backed papers, clearly identifying it as a legal document. Her eyes became huge as she held it in her hands. It's purpose clear, as it read:

Petition for Dissolution of Marriage.

Scanning to the end of the document, her eyes locked on the crisp signature of Richard Castle. He'd already signed, indicating that he really would not stand in the way.

Drunken Indiscretion. Is that really how you see it now, Castle?

The breath left Kate at the sight of the document. Every fiber in her being began to scream 'You've waited too long!'. She knew he was right from the beginning, that they belonged together, for at least a chance at happiness, but she had been bound by a sense of control. She held onto that need for control, to direct when, how they came together. This was never supposed to happen. The one constant in her life was Castle. He was loyal to a fault, and no matter how bad things got, he never gave up. Never.

Until now.

"Castle, what is going on?" Kate said barely aloud, to no one. She slowly sat down, the envelope dropping onto the desk before her. Her mind spinning, she could not shake the feeling that something was off with the writer. Her inner Rick Castle sense was pinging for days now, and his absence at the precinct, in her life, on the tour, for all these weeks had thoroughly thrown her off-kilter. Not being vain, but Kate Beckett knew Rick Castle. That man never quit. He'd come out of a coma to chase after her, tease her with some sexual innuendo, and pull her pigtails any time, day or night. It annoyed her to bits.

And she missed every second of it.

Kate grabbed her phone and attempted to call Rick again, but as before, the phone went straight to voicemail. She fired off a quick "Call me ASAP" text, but no answer was returned. She needed to talk to him, but he wasn't making himself available. She decided to go see Lanie. Perhaps her best female friend could help her gain some perspective.

####

Lanie spent most of the initial conversation with her mouth hanging open in surprise. "So, let me get this straight. You two got drunk, got married and slept together. You told him it was a mistake. He says he wants you, you fought him. He went out of town but you two haven't spoken since agreeing to think it over, and then today his attorney shows up. That about cover it?"

Kate felt about an inch tall as she added, "Almost. Lanie, when we were arguing, I felt up like he was pushing me against a wall. I basically told him that not only did I not want to be married to him. I also said I wish we had never met."

Expecting Lanie to start shouting at her, Kate was further surprised, as her friend remained quiet for a long moment, then began, "Kate, is that how you really feel?"

The detective looked down, wiping tears as she answered, "No."

"Then what were you thinking? You basically told the man to go jump off a cliff." The medical examiner explained.

Kate replied, "He hasn't come back since his book tour, which we all know now, he didn't do. Then yesterday, this appears online." Handing her friend her phone, she shows her the post continuing the photo of Castle and the beautiful blonde. "Then, he had his lawyer serve me with divorce papers. Lanie, he'd signed them. It's over!"

Lanie Parrish thought that she could read people and from day one, she knew that Castle would be good for her friend. Later on, she could see how they danced around one another, and she couldn't wait for the fireworks when they came together. But that never happened. Lanie pursed her lips before she replied, "Kate, I don't know how to say this but straight out. Do you love him?"

"Yeah, I do." Kate replied with quiet sincerity. Her thoughts collided at that moment. "Oh God, Lanie, I really did it this time. I pushed him too hard, ignored my feelings and even struck out at him. I've driven him away for good." The tears coursed down her cheeks with fervor.

Offering her tissue box to her best friend, Lanie, took that pause to compose her response. "See, Kate, I don't think the Tequila made you marry Castle. I think it loosened up you two. You acted on what you really wanted. Then when you woke up, you panicked. But, despite how hard you've fought this because you were't ready, your head and your heart are finally on the same page."

Kate kept her head lowered, but slowly nodded her agreement at the statement her friend just offered.

Lanie was on a roll. "But your pride and your wall wasn't down yet to let that happen, and you had the biggest knee jerk reaction you could have had.

"Yeah, it was." Was all the detective could say, as the tears clogged her voice. Lanie offered her a tissue.

Kate's friend began another chapter of this topic, "So now, after several sessions with Dr. Burke and serious soul searching, you're on board with wanting him, and judging from what's happened, it seems that he isn't now."

A tear slid down Kate's cheer as she nodded and said, "Yeah."

"So now the question to be answered is, what are you gonna do about it?" Lanie challenged.

A light went on in Kate's heart, making her see more clearly than she had in so long. "I love him. I'm not going to lose him and I'm going to go see if I can't fix this!"

"Now that sounds like the Kate Beckett I know and love!" Lanie said to her friend as they now they reached for tissues.

Kate dried her face, stood up and said, "Okay, no more time for tears. I've got someone I need to go see."

"Atta girl!"

To be continued...


	11. Chapter 11

The Heart of the Matter

by LindaInDC

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction based on Castle, the ABC show, also owned by Andrew W. Marlowe and other cool, brilliant people. I do not own the characters, but have written this work with no intent to gain profit from it. It is for reading enjoyment only. The story, names and places are fictional, and any similarities to real persons, places and events are purely coincidental.

Thank you for reading, providing reviews and favoriting/following this story. You all are amazing.

Note: July 24, 2016- this is not additional chapters in this update. I am just breaking down this one massive post into smaller ones allowing a chapter per page.

A great big note of thanks to Sass, who helped me with her magical doctor powers to square away the clinical side of this story. I wanted to do this justice, without writing a clinical textbook.

* * *

 **Chapter Eleven**

Kate took a chance and hoped she was not wrong on her calculations as to the dates he should have been back from his book tour. By her calculations, he'd have been home three days or so, already. She held her breath as she rang the bell to Castle's loft. Chewing on her lip as she waited, she had already tried role playing different scenarios in her head on the way over, but none of them ended with him walking away.

No answer. She paused, as she thought of what do do next. Touching the large wooden door, she found it unlocked, which was a little suspicious, as Rick was always so careful with security. Going in, she dropped her bag inside the door, and announced herself, but no one answered her call. Reaching down to her holster, she pulled her Glock 19, raising the pistol to be at the ready, as she began to clear the area, in case the home had been vandalized and the thieves were still there.

There were no visual signs that anything was amiss, but she justified that he was her partner and she wanted to make sure things were ok. Kitchen was clear. Living room was clear, dining room, too. She heard a noise from the direction of his office, and she made her way toward that room, looking through the slots of the bookshelves, but not seeing anyone there. The lights were low, making it relaxing but difficult to see fully into the space. Then the noise happened again. She could swear it was a groan.

Moving quickly, she approached the office door, and entered, calling him, "Castle?" She could hear the slight groan of a male voice. "Castle, is that you?"

"Yeah, its me." The thin version of a voice that sounded like Rick Castle commanded.

Kate lowered her weapon and entered the room, looking for the writer. "We need to talk."

The writer was settled on a wingback chair with his feet elevated on an ottoman. Shifting around to see her better, he groaned slightly, as he was weak and still a little sore from the defibrillator in his chest, that fired in his chest as his heart rhythm lagged or changed. "I had planned on calling you tomorrow, but now seems as good of a time as any. Mother and Alexis are downstairs, and should be back shortly. I'll text one of them. Come on in and close the door."

Kate did as he requested, while he fired off a quick message to let Martha know of his visitor.

The detective looked down for a moment, as if to gather her thoughts before she spoke, "Castle, what's going on? First, you tell me that you love me, that you want to stay married, and we'll talk when you get back. Then all of a sudden, I'm reading that you lied to as to your whereabouts, then I get served with divorce papers. Help me understand this, Castle! Talk to me, please."

The writer couldn't look her in the eye. His eyes cast downward, he glanced up to gauge her facial expression occasionally as he replied, "You're right, I did say those things, and at the time, I meant what I said. But sometimes time and distance helps clarify things. I was too much into the situation with you and my emotions were clouded by it all."

Kate felt pain in her gut, as if she were being kicked. This had to be some sort of bad dream, surely she'd wake soon. "Rick, no. You were the one that understood it all. You…"

Rick interrupted her. He was tiring, and he didn't want her to see him look weak, sickly. "I was wrong. I see that now, and I decided it was just wrong of me to keep you in a marriage you didn't want. So, you're free, Kate. I release you from this…" He paused, as if searching for the wright word. "…obligation."

This scared the detective. It sounded so out of character for Rick. It also sounded so final. Standing behind her chair, as if to use it as a shield, she decided to ask the big question at hand. "Rick, you never stopped chasing me. This isn't you. You're supposed to keep at it, then wear me down to admit that I want this marriage, too. What happened that made you change your mind?"

She swore she could hear Rick's mind turning as she awaiting his response. When he did speak again, his voice was full of pain and anguish. "It…it doesn't matter anymore."

Kate's knees buckled slightly at the response. It sounded so wrong coming from Rick. "Richard Castle, you've been a constant in my life - both a constant pain in my ass and a constant friend and…whatever this is that somehow turned into a quickie wedding. You don't get it, do you? I want this. I want us. I don't care about those walls, I just want us together, everything else we'll figure it out.

"Kate, please, you don't have to do this. It's over." Rick pleaded quietly, the fatigue filling his voice as tears threatened to fall, but were held in check. He needed to be left alone so he could prepare as best he could for his impending surgery. This was not helping, it hurt too much.

Let's try again, Rick…please." She was practically pleading with him at the end.

Rick was dying inside. If he were writing this scene, he couldn't have made it more sad, tragic. Everything he ever wanted was coming to him right now in the form of this beautiful, amazing woman, and it was simply a case of too little, too late. As much as he wanted this, he could not let it be - it would be more painful to her, and despite everything, he loved her too much to cause her more pain.

"Kate," He began, "I think that you were right to push me away. I'm not relationship material, and I'd only cause you more trouble than it'd be worth. You deserve…so much more, Kate. I couldn't…" Rick paused, the irony of what he was to say flaring in his face. "I couldn't live with myself if I stood in the way of you finding happiness, and finding someone…someone that really loves you."

Kate struggled and failed to keep her tears at bay. "Dammit, Castle, don't you get it? I don't want somebody else. I want you. I just want you!"

The fatigue nipping at his consciousness. He struggled and with the accuracy of an Oscar winning actor, delivered the fatal blow. "You can't have me."

Kate looked as if she had been slapped. She did not respond, but wiped her tears and turned towards the door. Stopping one last time, she said through her tears, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Rick."

The detective closed the office door, and stepping towards the front of the loft. She made it as far as the breakfast bar before she stumbled upon it, leaning on the counter to help support her. Rick had ended it. The one thing she was afraid would hidden, actually did. But, he seemed off. Maybe it was jet lag, maybe it was lack of sleep from bedding that blonde, but whatever the reason, he didn't look good.

Thoughts about the blonde woman he saw online with Castle, and the cold reception she just received, bubbled to the surface of her thoughts. Her emotions shifted from sadness into anger. She was furious! She was overwhelmed at that moment; the feeling just too intense. Her anger undiminished, it simmered just under the surface. She had to get out of here, now.

Kate silently marched to the front door, picked up her bag and opened the door wide. She briefly considered slamming it, but she wouldn't give anyone that satisfaction. The voice coming from her left surprised her. "Hello, Katherine".

Turning to face the left side, she was surprised to find Martha and Alexis. The senior Castle lady looked over to Alexis and said, "ACVA should be here soon." As the girl passed, Martha whispered to her granddaughter to go in and check on her father. Alexis gave a quiet, small smile to Beckett, but said nothing as she walked past her and into the loft.

"Martha. I don't know what you know, but I'm sorry for any pain I've caused you or your family." Kate apologized, trying to get her anger under control; this woman has caused her no problem.

Martha gave her a sad look, the corners of her mouth dropping downward. She said, "Katherine, you look so hurt, so angry. Please talk to my son. I know that he loves"

Kate interrupted her, the anger building at her response. "What, Martha? Were you going to say he loves me? Well, I just left him in there, where he made it clear that he did not, in fact want me anymore. So I'd rethink the love speech."

Martha was shocked. She'd never seen the woman acting on such passion, such hurt before. She knew that the anger wasn't directed at her specifically, but she was the closest of the Castle clan at the moment.

Reaching into her bag, she grasped the manilla envelope and an ink pen. "I need to ask you if you can give this to Rick. I…can't." Ripping it open, she freed the form and leaning it against the wall, used her pen to sign and date it. "He's in such a rush to get me out of his life, I won't be the person that delays that for him."

Martha's eyes grew large when she saw the Divorce Petition in Beckett's hand. "You two were married? Katherine, when? How?"

The surprise was genuine, as the detective surmised. "It's a long story, Rick is the story teller, her can give you more details, but just before he left town for his" Kate held her hands up, making the air quotes gesture, "'book tour' last month. And, no, I didn't have these drawn up, your son did. Then he had it delivered to me after he had already signed!"

Martha was devastated, her face drained of all color. She knew that there had to be a reason her son was so adamant that Beckett not be contacted. "Katherine, you have been so good for my son. I'm sorry that this is so painful. I want to talk to him, nothing about this sounds like something he would do!"

Kate wiped the tears once more, handed her the signed form. She then placed her hand on Martha's shoulder as a good bye gesture, and hurried to the elevator, never looking back.

Martha was torn. Kate didn't seem as if she knew Rick was sick, so he must not have told her. She wanted to march into the office and slap his arm and tell him to fix things. But her son's life is literally hanging in the balance. She needed to check on him, just to make sure he was alright. The first of the nurses were on their way to start providing round the clock care for him, and at present, he was in possession of black pager issued to him by the hospital so that he could be notified when a heart becomes available. If a heart becomes available.

As Martha came to the room, she saw his face. He was crestfallen. A lone tear was sliding down his cheek, and he stared off, as if replaying the conversation with Beckett. But beyond the sadness and fatigue, she noticed something new on his countenance.

Richard was giving up.

####

Dr Harper Thommas stood by Rick's bedside, listening to his heart through the cardiac stethoscope connected to her ears. Martha stood in the doorway of the room with Alexis, nervously peering into the room. Harper had checked his pulse and vital signs, and had evaluated his heart rhythm with a portable EKG. Rick said nothing, he lay on the bed, his eyes staring down at the foot of the bed.

Removing the stethoscope from her ears and resting it around her neck, Harper said, "Rick, I need you to avoid stressful situations. It's a wonder that your defibrillator hadn't started firing the fight with your friend. I can't believe she'd come here and do that, given your state!"

"In her defense, he didn't tell her." Martha answered on Kate's behalf.

Harper shook her head, "Well, it can't happen again. Before I go, I'm going to draw more blood, so we can run some more tests, just to make sure all is on the up and up. I'm hoping that this isn't going to cause a setback for you. Mental preparedness is the big hurdle here, Rick. You have to be able to stay calm and positive. It really does help!"

Rick was sad, but he knew deep down he had to try to fight for his family. Alexis was at the end of high school, about to start college, and like Beckett with her mom, Alexis would be devastated at his death. He might not make it, but he knew deep down he had to try.

The writer began to help by turning and offering his arm for the blood tests, and moving around when asked, and that helped encourage Harper that he would bounce back.

When the blood was collected, Harper rose and said, "OK, I gotta go and get this to the lab. If there is trouble, call 911 and then call me. Don't forget, it's very important that you keep the pager with you at all times so we can contact you when we have a heart for you. And no repeats of the stress from today, ok? Take care.

Martha spoke, "Thank you, Harper. Let me show you to the door. Thank you for checking in on him."

"Well, I was going to check on him today anyway, so it was already in the plans. See you later, Martha. Bye Alexis." Dr. Thommas stepped onto the elevator and was on her way.

####

Kate was at home, how she could not recall. It was as if she went on auto-pilot from the Loft to her apartment. How did this all go so wrong?

Her thoughts were interrupted by her cell phone. Lanie Parrish's picture came onto the display. Reluctantly, she answered. "Lanie…" Sorrow overcame her voice.

"Kate? Sweetie, what's wrong?" Lanie asked, her concern rising.

Taking a moment to catch her breath, Kate responded, "Its over. He rejected me. He doesn't want to try anymore."

Lanie was shocked at Castle's decision. "Hang on, I'm coming over!"

"No, I'm just going to go to bed. The team has the next two days off. Come over the day after. I want to be alone tomorrow." Kate said as she wiped her eyes and tried unsuccessfully to stop the tears.

Lanie's heart was breaking for her friend. "OK, sweetie. I'm so sorry. I'll see you then. If you need me tomorrow, you call me, ok? Try to get some rest."

Kate slipped off her shoes, made her way to the bed and fell upon it. Still in her street clothes, she slept fitfully and restlessly. Her dreams were filled with various versions of her and Rick. They were together, and he was killed, he died saving her, they ended it, all different outcomes. Kate spent the majority of that day in bed, reliving those dreams. When she was awake she was crying and replaying memories in her head until she cried herself to sleep once again, only to repeat the cycle. She was in rough shape and she knew it.

A knocking at the door drove her from bed and to the front door. It was Lanie. She came bearing several bags of what appeared to be food.

"OK, Kate. We're gonna get yo into the shower and cleaned up and dressed." the ME explained, "Ryan and Espo are gonna be here in about an hour. We're all gonna talk and see how we can help you, sweetie."

"Thank you, Lanie. I don't know if I can." Kate began, but Lanie was there to help get her back up and facing this, so she can heal.

Kate's best girl friend helped he detective up to her feet, walked her into the shower and started the spray. As she heard Kate stirring to get under the water, she ran back to her bedroom, and stripped and re-made the bed.

Kate finished and returned to her room, clad in her towel, and Lanie left her to get dressed, while the ME went to the kitchen, and opened the box of doughnuts and the tray of fresh fruit and placed it on the coffee table at the edge of the grey sofa in Kate's living room. The boys arrived to the smell of fresh coffee brewing, and Kate pouring herself a cup, her eyes puffy from crying.

"Beckett, is there anything we can do for you? I'm so sorry." Ryan asked. The only person in the group actually in a relationship, and set to be married soon, Ryan could understand how much it would hurt to lose Jenny, the love of his life. Castle and Beckett were not a couple, but yet they were. It felt cosmically destined and as sure as Spring followed Winter.

"Thanks Ryan. I don't think there's anything that can be done right now." Kate replied, her heart aching over Rick's rejection. She covered her eyes with her hands, trying to force the tears from falling again.

Ryan looked at Espo, who made a facial gesture, what looked like an encouraging move. Lanie caught it. "OK, what's up with you two?"

Ryan looked down and nervously replied, "Beckett, I know that this is all still fresh for you, but I can't see Castle doing this without some hidden reason."

Kate was nearly ill, "Ryan, Kevin, thank you for trying to give the benefit of the doubt, but there isn't anything here. Its just over."

Espo spoke up, "Go ahead, tell her."

"Tell her what?" Lanie inquired.

Seeing Ryan's delay, Espo added, "Ryan thinks that something is going on with Castle."

Kate sat up at that statement. "Ryan, what do you know?"

"Well, it's more of what I think I know," Ryan replied, "I kept going back to how this isn't like the Castle we know. I think there's some sort of coverup going on. I think he might be sick, or someone in the family is sick."

Lanie's attention was piqued now, as well. "Tell me."

Ryan reached into his bag and grabbed his iPad. "I know that you don't like to see this photo, Beckett, but I want to show you something."

Slowly, Kate leaned forward, and watched as Ryan retrieved the photo of Rick and the blonde. It still stung. But then he pinched and expanded his fingers, causing the photo to zoom in onto a small logo on the bulkhead next to Castle's head. Ryan instructed, "Take a look at this logo. I took a screen capture and a friend of mine in DC ran it though a database of business logos."

"Did you get a hit?" Kate asked.

"We did. Turns out that the logo belongs to…" Ryan answered and with a flourish, switched webpages and continued, "a medical air ambulance company, based here in the city, but has a whole fleet of planes that can fly all over the country."

Lanie is hooked, "So why would Castle be on an air medical plane?"

"Guys, I'm sorry to be the downer here," Kate advised, "but he does charity stuff all the time for sick kids. He could have just been riding along to make a sick person's last request come true."

Kevin grinned, he was expecting that. "Well, I took a look at their planes online. They do a virtual tour through each one. Turns out he was on a midsize jet, which has the capacity to go cross country." He clicked on a button and the tour began, where he spun the angle to the row of seats on the left side of the plane. "So looking at the picture of Castle, look at the seats. They are royal blue with a light brown head rest, except for the medical gurney, and that's solid dark blue, no colors on a headrest. Now look at Castle's seat."

The gang waited for Ryan to flip it back, and his observation was confirmed.

"You're right!" Lanie exclaimed. "So he's on the gurney and probably has it elevated so he can sit up."

Ryan halted the conversation again, saying, "And while we're looking on the photo of Castle, there are a couple things to point out. Castle has been touched up."

Kate looked surprised. "What do you mean?"

"Espo caught this one. While I had the pic zoomed in to look at the logo over his seat, Javi noticed the peachy and light tan highlights on his face, because some of them were actually off his face."

Javi added, "The picture being that resolution online, most folks would even look it over that closely. It looks like it was touched up by an app, like on a phone or a tablet, because of the brush size."

Kevin added, "I had a crack at trying to match the skin tone on his neck to his face to get a better look at his true skin color." He hit a button, and the color changed on Castle's face. His face was a sickly pale, with a slight discoloration around his lips.

Lanie moved even closer to the iPad. "Oh my God. Look at his pallor. He's really sick, guys."

Kate's heart rate leapt at this information, as she asked, "What do you think it is?"

Lanie shook her head, "That's too broad of a symptom, but it could be cardiac or respiratory in nature."

Kate caught the look between the boys this time. "What is it? Out with it!"

Ryan replied, "Well, I tasked Javi with trying to find out who the woman was, and he made some observations, as well."

Espo answered, well, I looked at the message posted with the picture. After the note, there is a ph beside it. Folks posting for others usually do something along those lines, so it's easier to distinguish who posted that message. Castle's agent is Paula Haas, or ph."

Kate responded, "OK, so how does that tell us who the woman is? I doubt his agent is going to give up personal information for someone who may or may not be able to prove that they need it."

Javi responded, "We don't need her to."

Lanie rolled her eyes, "Are you gonna tell us who this is, or are you gonna prolong this episode of Murder, She Wrote?"

Javi smiled, and said, "I'm getting there! Sometimes when you meet people, and you are on social media, you ask each other their user names so you can add or friend them. Turns out, someone using Castle's social media pages started following Harper Thommas, aka "HarperHeartMD". Turns out, she's one of the top Cardiothoracic surgeons in the country. On a different note, she's engaged."

"So," Ryan continued, "I googled her, and she has written and published articles on heart transplantation."

Kate's heart dropped. Was Rick really sick? She looked to Lanie for her take on the information.

Lanie nodded, "I've read some of her papers. Kate, the amount of time he was away could work for someone treated for an advanced cardiac problem, and why they had to cancel stops. But if he was ill enough to require a heart surgeon and medical transport, then he'd need assistance at home, too. And he wouldn't be back to normal, he'd be weak, and possibly using devices to help with his heart function."

Kate said, "He never got up when I was there, and he didn't move much, but when he did, it was slow. He looked tired, but I thought it was due to traveling or partying with her." She gestured to the photo. "And Martha, when I left, told Alexis that somebody was coming. It was an acronym."

"What was it?" Lanie asked.

Kate replayed the encounter in her mind, "She told Alexis that ACVA would be there."

"Bingo! Altlantic Cardiovascular Associates, here in the city." Lanie stated, "The specialize in cardiac based home care around the clock."

Lanie looks at Kate and says, "Girl, I hate to say this, but it sounds like Castle is pretty ill. Maybe he thought he was sparing you from all that?"

Tears begin once again to flow from Kate's eyes. She stated, "I have to talk to Martha. She knows now we're married. I have to believe she'd tell me."

Ryan looked eye to eye with Kate and said, "Call her."

To be continued...


	12. Chapter 12

The Heart of the Matter

by LindaInDC

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction based on Castle, the ABC show, also owned by Andrew W. Marlowe and other cool, brilliant people. I do not own the characters, but have written this work with no intent to gain profit from it. It is for reading enjoyment only. The story, names and places are fictional, and any similarities to real persons, places and events are purely coincidental.

Thank you for reading, providing reviews and favoriting/following this story. You all are amazing.

Note: July 24, 2016- this is not additional chapters in this update. I am just breaking down this one massive post into smaller ones allowing a chapter per page.

A great big note of thanks to Sass, who helped me with her magical doctor powers to square away the clinical side of this story. I wanted to do this justice, without writing a clinical textbook.

* * *

 **Chapter Twelve**

"Two coffees, please." Kate ordered for the woman across from her. Looking to her guest, she said, "Martha, thank you for agreeing to see me. First off, I wanted to apologize for my behavior the other day. No matter what happened between me and Rick, I should have never have taken it out on you. I'm sorry."

Martha smiled, "Oh my dear, there is nothing to forgive. We've all been there. And please know, while I don't doubt your sincerity on the apology, I have to wonder the full reason you called and asked to meet up at the coffee shop across from my home."

Kate smiled, and said, "Yes, you caught me. I needed to talk to you about me and Rick. You now know that he and I are indeed married, for now, at least."

Martha looked at her, awaiting the next tidbit of information, "Yes."

"Well," began Kate, "I am trying to piece a timeline together about where Rick was, and I need your help."

"Katherine, he's my son! I could never tell something that I was told not to!" She looked around, motioned for Kate to come closer, "But I can verify anything you happen to know or find out. That's not telling!"

Beckett winked in agreement with the semantics of the question. She began her questions, "OK, I'll just summarize what I think I know, and you tell me if Im right or wrong. If you are ok with it, fill in any details that I might have left off. OK?"

Martha simply nodded.

Kate began, "OK, so we think that Rick went on his book tour, became ill and had to cancel the rest of the tour. We think that whatever he had was related to his heart and bad enough to merit a surgeon. We also know that he was transported on a medical transport airplane, and that he was with a heart surgeon."

Martha was impressed, and relieved at the same time. "Oh Katherine, you and your team really are great detectives! I'm so relieved that I don't have to keep it hidden any longer. I wanted to tell you, but Richard asked us not to, because you two were fighting. Then he became unconscious. I promise you, I didn't know you were married until I saw you the other day."

Kate, although happy the boys figured most everything out, was upset that her still husband was ill. "What is wrong with him?"

Martha looked stricken. "He has a nasty viral infection of his heart, called Myocarditis. It isn't always this bad, but my son, alas, has had an aggressive strain. His heart is so damaged, that it stopped several times. Now it can't keep him alive much longer without a heart transplant. So, we are at home until he gets a new heart, or until he becomes too ill to be outside of the hospital. I am, we are, all so worried for him - There's no guarantee he'll get a heart. He could die.

Kate's tears were back in earnest now. She surmised, "So Castle decided to make me leave, to spare me the pain of being there, if he did die. Oh, that man! I can't believe him!"

Martha nodded, "That does sound like my son. He would only want to think of you, but my son needs support, and love, Katherine."

Kate placed her hand on top of his mother's hand. "Martha, he's going to get both from you and Alexis. And from me, as well".

Rick sat in bed, alone, save for the nurses checking on him hourly. But instead of the ruggedly handsome, gregarious man, so full of life and vigor, there sat a tired, frail, paled version of the writer, that now, knowing what she knows, looks like he is waiting for life or death, depending on which one called first. She had never seen this version before, and what she saw frightened her. He did not resemble himself at all. Gaunt, pale and thinner from the lack of appetite. She would not have recognized him as the larger than life, beautiful man she had come to know and…love.

"Rick?" She queried, trying to reconcile what she saw, but failing miserably.

"There's nothing more to talk about, Kate. Please go. There isn't a chance for us…not anymore. Mother Nature finished off that, in her own twisted way."

Kate's tears filled her cheeks, and spilled down onto the floor as she moved closer to him. She loved him, and this was killing her to see how sick he was. "Castle, I know, ok? I know about your heart, and I want to be here. Please, let me in."

Kate let her tears fall openly, for this beautiful, open, happy man that was transformed into a sick, weak being that was fighting to not lose hope. She was scared for him, as from what she knew, outlook was part of the process that helped get a positive outcome. She was terrified that he had simply given up. That fear infused her right then with new resolve. She had to get him to understand. "Castle. Listen to me. I know what you tried to do, by trying to end things with me. You think that if you run me away, and something happens to you, I won't hurt over it. That couldn't be further from the truth".

Rick misunderstood Kate's approach. Sighing, he said, "Kate, listen, I understand your attempt. You're concerned about what you learned, and being the kind of person and friend that you are, you want to help. Well, I …"

Kate stopped her by placing her finger gently on his lips. "No, Castle, that isn't it, not at all. The thing…" She stopped and took a breath, "The thing is, I woke up married. Yes that was a shock, but if I had to pick anyone in this world to be married to, it would be you. Am I shocked at seeing you sick? Of course. But this isn't about you being sick. This is about me, pushing you away. I don't know why, but I had this all in my head, you know? I don't know why I felt that I needed to have that kind of control."

"Needed to have? You don't feel that way anymore?" Rick asked, his curiosity stoked.

Kate shook her head, "Not at all. I've been seeing a therapist, putting in the time and doing the work. But I had it in my head that I had to be perfect so that we could be together and have the relationship I wanted. What I've learned is that I don't have to wait. I know what needs to be done to work on myself, and I want you right there with me, knocking down that wall. The relationship will be perfect because it's us in it."

Rick took his thumb and stroked her cheeks, drying tears that tracked down face. "I'm so in love with you, Kate."

Kate smiled through her tears. "And I'm in love with you, Rick Castle, and no matter where you are, my heart's going to be right there with you. We belong to each other."

"Always." The writer said as he gently rested his hands onto the detective's face, pulling her lips to his, and sealed the words with a kiss. Their lips separated, and her tongue caressed his lower lip, and then pushed into his mouth, to be greeted in an embrace with his tongue as well. The kiss wasn't deep and lengthy, as his breath was short, but it meant everything to both of them.

Kate gingerly climbed onto the bed to rest beside her husband, content to just be in love and with him. She watched him as he rested, and dreamed of their life together, after the surgery. Rick roused her from her dreams, with a gentle kiss on her left hand.

Looking over to her, he asked nervously, "Do you still have your ring?"

She nodded yes, and pulled it from the necklace from around her neck.

Rick reached over to his bedside table and pulled the ring from the ring box he kept there. "Let's put them back on, let the whole world know we're married."

Kate's face fell with sadness. He didn't know yet. Kate was distracted by movement in the office, and saw that it was Martha and Alexis. Thinking they were involved in their talk, she continued with him. "Rick, I don't think that we are anymore. Married, that is."

Castle looked at her, surprise in his face, "What do you mean?"

Looking down, she tried to hide her face in shame. "The day that we fought here, after I had the papers served on me, as I was leaving, I signed them and left them with your mother. They're probably in process of being filed by now, if they haven't finished."

A knock at the door interrupted the conversation. The two of them looked up to see both Martha in the doorway. Just beyond her stood Alexis, her eyes glistening as she struggled to clear her eyes with her knuckles. Martha looked at the couple and replied, "I seem to have a problem."

Castle, a little impatient, said, "Well, Mother, we were in the middle of a very important conversation and"

"Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about." Martha interrupted. "I seem to have misplaced something, and I'm afraid that it must have gotten tossed out. It looked terribly important, and I thought you should know, what with it coming from an attorney's office and everything…" She paused, to allow the pair to acknowledge what she was telling them.

Kate was the first to catch on. "So, you're saying that you misplaced and tossed out our divorce petition, rather than returning it to Rick's attorneys?"

Martha nodded, and replied, "Well, I suppose I could have said it that way, but…well, yes. That's exactly what I did.

Kate, overcome with happiness, leaned down to Rick and kissed him deeply, taking caution once she remembered he needed air. She then stood and hugged Martha firmly, for both of them. Motioning, she asked Alexis to join in on the hug, as well. "Thank you. Thank you, both of you." Kate said as she struggled for the words.

Sitting back down upon the bed, Kate reached over to Rick's hand and placed her ring upon his palm, then retrieved his ring, and sat up a little straighter, while moving closer towards him. Alexis and Martha, who were to bear witness, stepped back to create a more intimate setting for the couple.

Sliding the wedding band onto her husband's ring finger, Kate pledged, "Richard Castle, I had given this ring to you, although in a most unusual way, it was given with love. I give it to you again, now, with love and hope for the future. You are my home, my safe place and my best friend. I can't imagine living my life without you by my side. I love you, Rick. Always."

Rick was silent, though his eyes gleamed with unshed tears. Taking Kate's hand, he slid the ring onto her finger, and vowed, "Katherine Houghton Beckett, ours has never been an easy path, but it's the one that I have chosen, simply because you are there. I know beyond all other truth that I will love you for as long as I am alive, and I can't imagine my life without you in it. I love you, Kate. Always."

Rick slid his hand onto the back of Kate's neck, drawing her to him, and their lips met tenderly, sealing the renewed promise between them that they were joined for life.

####

Kate lay in bed with her husband for a long time, alternating between staring at the pager that would alert them when a heart was available, and watching the rise and fall of his chest as sleep claimed him, as she stroked his head gently, her fingers carefully working through the strands of his hair while he claimed rest. She replayed the phone call that they had with her father. He meant so much to her, and with a promise of more details later, so that Rick could rest, they agreed to talk the next day. She was stunned at how little energy the writer had, and how tasks that were often taken for granted, seemed impossible for him now. Her concern over his well being had increased, and at present, her mind was spinning at several hundred miles per hour, trying to determine what she should do to help her husband.

Her husband. She smiled at actually being able to consider him that to her. She liked how it sounded in her thoughts, and couldn't wait to hear how it rolled off her tongue.

Sliding quietly from the bed, she stepped into his office to avoid waking him. Pulling out her phone, she slid into the desk chair as she made her call.

"Captain Gates, how may I help you?" The calm, measured voice answered from the other end of the line.

"Sir, It's Kate Beckett. Sir, I have something I wish to discuss with you." Kate began.

"Detective Beckett, Why don't you stop by my office early in the morning, and we can discuss it." Gates offered, hearing the urgency in the brief conversation.

"Thank you, sir. I'll see you first thing in the morning." Kate added as she hung up the phone.

The next day started early for Kate. Rick had awoke as Kate was putting on her shoes, preparing to leave.

"Hey, I woke up at the right time. Well, late, if I wanted to see you naked." Rick said with a small grin.

Kate chuckled as she leaned back and kissed Rick gently on the lips, lingering a moment longer, just to be near him. "Well, it may be for the best. I don't want to be responsible for finishing off the old ticker with my nakedness, now do I?"

They were silent for a moment, till Castle spoke, "Do you have to go in to work today? I wanted to be with you here."

Kate looked at the sad expression he had on his face. He looked like a little boy, being told he can't play with his new christmas present. She grinned and replied, "Well, I am leaving now to go change and get new clothes so I can be here several days. Then I am meeting with Captain Gates, and I'm taking our marriage license with me to update my HR file, so that I can then ask for time off to be with you."

Castle smiled and stretched gingerly, his weakness slowing him down considerably. "That sounds like a perfect idea. I'll ask Harper to send you whatever documentation she can to help them with the medical need side of the paperwork that I know you will have to complete."

Kate leaned in and gave a small kiss to his lips. "Babe?" Another kiss. "If you are going to introduce me to beautiful women whom I was jealous of less than 12 hours before, you're going to have to give me a heads up, ok?"

Rick smiled brightly as he replied, "Not a problem. You'll like Harper, you both have the same innate ability to bust my chops. And I like you calling me Babe."

Glancing at the time, Kate sighed, "OK I have to go. I'll be back as soon as I can. I love you, Babe."

Castle ran his hand down her arm as he replied, "I love you too."

####

The traffic gods were kind to Kate on this particular morning, as she made it to her apartment in good time, showered, changed and packed in record time and was pulling into her spot at the precinct with 10 minutes to spare. The ride up to the Homicide division was quiet, as was the whole building at this time of day. As the doors slid open, Kate looked up to notice that Gates was also already here, and just finished hanging her jacket. Gates motioned for her to come to her office. Here we go. Kate thought to herself as she made the trip to her Captain's office by way of the copier.

Gates, a detective first and foremost before a Captain, still had an eye for the details. "So, it looks as if congratulations are in order, Detective Beckett. Or is it Detective Castle?"

Kate was taken aback. "You knew sir? How?"

"Let's just say that I could tell you weren't happy about being teased by your team. But seriously, congratulations." She shook her hand and took the copy of her marriage license for her records. "Was that why you were wanting to meet with me?" Gates said as she sat in her chair and leaned back into it.

"No sir," Kate began, "well, part of it, but something has come up and I would appreciate if you could keep this between us, sir, for now. While Rick was on his book tour, he developed a very serious and aggressive form of a viral infection to his heart. It has left him in urgent need of a new heart."

Gates' concern was foremost on her facial expression. "Kate, what do you need, just name it and it's yours. You have your brothers and sisters in uniform to help in any way you need. Likewise, Mr. Castle has developed a respect among the people here in the division, and many have come to respect his talents. We'd be honored to help."

Kate was taken aback at the tremendous outpouring towards her and Castle. "Thank you, sir. Since I am just getting involved in his care and as his wife, I am still learning about long term needs. So, short term, I would like to be with him while we wait at home, and while he initially recovers, at least. I want him to know his family is there for him to help him as he heals, or if for some reason, no heart is found, that we are with him for as long as he is with us." Speaking of her husband's mortality was impossible, her voiced cracked slightly as she spoke.

Gates rose from her chair and motioned for Kate to do the same. She reached out a hand and shook her junior officer's hand, and said, "Go be with Rick now. I'll have someone contact you on how to start your medical leave. In the meantime, don't worry about days off or anything here. Your team has no open investigations and your forms are all submitted, so it's a good time, even from that small aspect. I'll be in touch to check in. Keep us posted on how everything is going."

And with that, Kate was back in her car, on her way to the loft. To him. Home.

####

It's been two weeks since Kate and Rick settled in to stay man and wife, and nearly three since he's been back from the hospital. The overall morale in the household has been good, but the sound of a distant ticking clock is getting a little louder each day. Castle is a good sport with the heavy medication regimen he is on. His energy lessens each day, and hours pass on many days where Kate is content to lie next to Rick as he sleeps, comfortable to read a book or even rest herself. The waking moments are spent between medical needs, such as as medications and checkups with Harper.

The remainder of the time is spent with Kate and Rick talking, holding hands or touching in some way. A kiss is shared often, almost as a way to hold that thought on whatever it was they were doing previously, or as a way to just communicate without words.

One day, the afternoon sun was just sliding into the west side of the loft, bathing the bed in sunlight. Kate lay on her back, at the left side of her husband, who was on his back, head propped by pillows. The head of the bed was elevated in such a degree it kept the sun from being at eye level for them. Kate was leaning into Rick, her right arm across her body, with her fingers interwoven with the fingers of Rick's left hand. Their talk was soft and low, meant for only them to hear.

Kate smiled at her husband as she spoke, "So I was thinking about our wedding. Or the fact that the only recall of it that either of us have is by firing up the DVD player and popping some popcorn."

Rick laughed lightly, and replied, "Yeah, and I am disappointed because I can't even remember what a wildcat in bed you must have been on our wedding night. I was covered in hickeys!"

Kate playfully smacked his hand. "You? I seem to recall standing in the bathroom having to take a hickey count, myself!"

They shared a laugh, and Kate continued, "So, I was thinking. After your recovery is done and you are cleared, why don't we re-do our vows, and take a little honeymoon trip. Just a few days to have a real honeymoon?"

Rick was quiet for a long count, then replied, "I'd love that. It would give us memories and a chance to do our own vows, and time to share on a real wedding night, too. And you've heard what Harper said, that sex could be considered as early as three months after, depending on how I do overall. So, I'm thinking you may need to start your NYPD fitness bootcamp classes so you can keep up with your flexible husband with the stamina of a young man."

Kate loved to hear Rick's tease her. It was that sass that kept them happy, and in the zone together. It was becoming easier and easier to be with him. Other than the heart worries, fears and the constant waiting, theirs was a perfect marriage.

Beckett just smiled at her husband as she answered, "Don't you worry about me. I'm plenty flexible. And I have this thing I do with…"

At that moment, the pager on the bedside table began to beep, filling the room with a shrill, foreign noise. The sound carried into the rest of the house, and for a moment, the couple froze in disbelief that it was actually the pager that making all the noise. It was loud enough that everyone in the loft came to the bedroom, ready for action.

Kate grabbed the pager, and handed it to Rick. "You sit up and get on your slippers." Looking up, she saw Alexis, and sent her to help her dad finish getting ready. Martha had already grabbed a large weekender bag with essentials for the trip to the hospital and she had it by the front door in a matter of moments. The actress then grabbed the house phone and called down for the car immediately. Rick paid to have a car on standby 24/7 that could be there in minutes to take him to the hospital. Rick's nurse gathered up his medication lists and verified when he had taken them all last and placed them into the health packet going with them to the hospital.

Kate was intently, deliberately dialing each number in the hospital phone number so that no mistake was made. When the nurse on the other end answered, Kate confirmed Richard Castle had been paged, and then she heard the words that they all had so longed to hear.

"Come immediately to the hospital. We have a heart for you."

To be continued...


	13. Chapter 13

The Heart of the Matter

by LindaInDC

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction based on Castle, the ABC show, also owned by Andrew W. Marlowe and other cool, brilliant people. I do not own the characters, but have written this work with no intent to gain profit from it. It is for reading enjoyment only. The story, names and places are fictional, and any similarities to real persons, places and events are purely coincidental.

Thank you for reading, providing reviews and favoriting/following this story. You all are amazing.

Note: July 24, 2016- this is not additional chapters in this update. I am just breaking down this one massive post into smaller ones allowing a chapter per page.

A great big note of thanks to Sass, who helped me with her magical doctor powers to square away the clinical side of this story. I wanted to do this justice, without writing a clinical textbook.

* * *

 **Chapter Thirteen**

The trip made to the hospital seemed to take an eternity. The car came quickly, and Rick was taken downstairs by way of a wheel chair to save his energy. Kate sat against the door and Rick at her right side. Alexis sat on his right, and his mother took the front seat with the driver. Alexis held her dad's hand, while Rick rested his hand on Kate's knee. Kate wrapped her left hand into the crook of his left arm, while her right hand nervously stroked the fine hairs at the back of his neck. It helped her stay focused, to have such a tactile connection to her husband, and it relaxed him, as well.

A short time later, the car pulled under the canopy that protected the entrance to the Hospital. A wheelchair awaited Castle as he arrived. Once he was in the chair, he was greeted by a nurse that was assigned to him as his transplant liaison, she would help him with anything he needed prior to surgery, and would be available to his family during the procedure, to help keep them at ease and well-informed. The rest of the trip upstairs was a blur of activity, as he was assessed, had questions asked, blood drawn and other tests.

Rick was placed on a transport gurney and told that he would be transported to the surgical holding area in a few moments. Martha was the first to him. "My son, I love you. You are the joy of my heart, and you focus on getting back here to us. I love you." She ended her time with him with a kiss to his forehead.

Alexis wiped the tears from her cheeks, while Rick grabbed her into as tight of a hug as he could manage. "Pumpkin, I need you to be there for your Grams and Kate. They are gonna worry, and I need you to remind them how much I love them, and they will remind you of how very much I love you."

Alexis nodded, as her voice was too clogged with tears. She let him go and stepped back so that Kate could get to him. Martha pulled Alexis to her to give her a comforting hug, and to also give husband and wife a moment of privacy.

Kate stepped up to her husband, leaned over and hugged him. "Babe, I love you. You better listen to them better than you listened to me when we first worked together." This brought a chuckle to both of them. She continued, "I am not ready to spend any less than the next fifty years or so with you, so don't even think about getting out any earlier!"

Rick, his tears slowly glancing off his cheek, said, "I am looking forward to the fifty years, but my first immediate goal is in the next three or so months. I want to find a place and not get out of bed for the whole trip."

Kate laughed at his words and replied, "I'll hold you to that." She leaned in more and brushed her lips towards his. He pulled her in tighter, bringing her lips back to his, letting his tongue slide through the seam of her lips. Kate opened her lips and caressed his tongue with hers for a long moment, then let the kiss end on its own. She rested her forehead on his, and whispered, "Always, Rick."

Rick placed a kiss onto her chin as he then looked into her eyes and repeated, "Always."

The transporter announced it was time and the gurney began the journey to the surgical area. Kate held his hand until the distance caused their hands to separate, and Martha walked over to the newlywed and pulled her into a hug, trying to infuse her with love and support. Alexis was a step behind, and the three ladies clung to one another, drawing strength, and sending a united prayer to the heavens to watch out over the man that they all so dearly loved.

The women were directed to the surgical waiting area, where they were given a private area to wait, given Castle's VIP status. "Ladies?" A voice called to them, causing them to look up. It was Harper Thommas, Rick's surgeon.

"Harper, thank you for helping Richard." Martha said as she reached and took the surgeon's hand.

"It's my honor, Martha. I just wanted to stop out and say hello and that I am gonna take good care of him. Try not to wear yourselves out, ok?"

All three agreed with the surgeon's request. "So, I'll come out after we're done, and we have him in the ICU. I have to get going, as I am meeting with both teams for the donor, as well as Rick's. I'll see you all soon." Harper smiled at them and then turned and exited, going back to the surgical area.

Kate had called her father within minutes of arriving to the waiting area. Within an hour, she looked up upon hearing footsteps, and a quiet call of "Katie?"

Kate rushed into her father's arms, and he walked her back into the chairs, taking a moment to greet Martha and Alexis, as well. Jim asked, "How long is it expected to take?"

Alexis answered first, "They said about four to six hours, if all is normal."

Jim smiled at her and replied, "And it will be normal. Is there anything that I can do for any of you? Is there anyone I can call or notify?"

Kate sat up and replied, "I should call my Captain, she asked to let her know."

Alexis added, "And Dad's agent and Gina."

Jim had an idea, "Why don't you just put together an email and state what you want to say in it, and we can send it out to everyone, so you aren't saying the same message over and over?"

Martha smiled, "Excellent idea. I will craft the message, and you can tell me who should be included." With that, the actress set to work. Within minutes, everyone, from the boys to Gina were notified and the family could focus on Rick.

Jim excused himself and said he would be back shortly. Within twenty minutes, he returned, with two small cards, that he gave one to Kate, the other to Martha. "Here, hang on to these. I spoke with your liaison and they have made arrangements for you to be able to stay in their VIP lodging. They have rooms to accommodate families, and I doubted that any of you were planning to go home tonight."

"Thank you, Dad." Kate said as she hugged his arm.

Once again, time seemed to crawl by for the family. Over the hours, Javi and Lanie arrived, and brought coffee for everyone. Ryan arrived shortly after his partner, with the message that Captain Gates was in meetings all day at 1 Police Plaza, and would check in after.

Time ticked away slowly, despite updates from the team. At around the five hour mark, the liaison appeared, and notified the family that the surgery was done and went as well as could be expected. They were finishing up and would be taking him to the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit shortly. A sigh of relief came from the small band of friends that had gathered. Rick Castle was stable. Most began leaving, with words of encouragement and to say that they would be back to visit soon.

####

Harper Thommas entered the waiting area reserved for Rick's family. Sitting with them, she recapped the surgery. The surgeon stated, "The surgery went really smooth. His lungs were remarkably good and free of fluid, so that will go far with how quickly he recovers. He'll stay in the Cardiac ICU for two or three days, so we can keep a close eye on him."

Kate asked, "So how long do you anticipate he'll be here?"

Harper replied, "My patients are usually here two to three weeks, depending on how things are going, so I would assume the same for Rick, at this point. So the visiting hours in the ICU are pretty strict, and Rick is going to be sedated for a while, so why don't you all try to go get some rest and I'll let you know how he's doing in the morning. There is a waiting area where you can call in and talk to the nursing staff and find out when you can visit him."

Harper rose, prompting them to do the same, and she drew each of the ladies into a firm hug, and waved as she left the area.

####

Rick remained in the hospital fifteen days, and was discharged home, where he was greeted with a banner and ribbons welcoming him home. On every flat surface balloons and cards from nearly everyone from the twelfth precinct, the Mayor, Harper Thommas and her fiancé, as well as Black Pawn, Paula, and even Meredith, Alexis' mother and Rick's first ex-wife.

Kate was thankful for the leave of absence she had taken prior to Rick's surgery, as he had good days and bad days. The good days saw him doing his exercises with ease, taking his medications readily and even on some days, flying his remote control helicopter or tank around the loft, terrorizing the family. The bad days saw him in bed and in pain, not wanting to move or to eat. Eventually he would get up, but on those days, it just seemed as if everything took more effort, and that was usually the responsibility of Mrs. Richard Castle.

There were frequent trips back to the hospital for tests to make sure that all was on the up and up, and they sighed in relief each time they were given a good report. As the weeks went by, it was apparent that Rick was improving, and getting closer to the man he was prior to when this nightmare all began.

Over the weeks, Kate and Rick would help him focus on his recovery by working a little most days on what they wanted to do about a small ceremony and honeymoon, once they were able.

Rick smirked and asked, "So I guess a giant roller coaster is out, huh?"

Smacking his arm, Kate laughed, "That would have been out even if you hadn't had surgery!"

Rick had an idea, "Why don't we rent our park and have it at the little gazebo, near our swings?"

Kate's face lit up. "Oh Castle, that's perfect! It is just us saying vows for It could be small, just enough for our closest friends and family, and then we could meet up at The Old Haunt for a reception."

Rick kissed his wife. "You're right, it's perfect."

Kate smiled seductively as she stroked his chin gently, "And I was thinking, why don't we spend a week or so up in the Hamptons at the house? It would be private, but close enough that we could get back here if we needed to quickly."

A smile filled Rick's face as he responded, "That sounds like a perfect idea. And we don't have to worry about reservations or all that."

"Yes," Kate answered, "We'll just have to wait for the all clear from the good doctor. But we also have to find out just how vigorous we can be, and for how long. I want to make love to you every day, every hour we're together, but that doesn't seem like it's going to be realistic for you, Castle."

Rick looked incredulous, "For me? Babe, that wouldn't be realistic for a porn star!" At their shared laugh, "But I know what you mean. We'll have a good time, and we'll figure it all out."

####

It had been fourteen weeks since Rick was discharged from the hospital. The day had arrived for the ceremony in the park. The couple were not nervous about what would happen at the ceremony, or the reception. They were just letting their friends and family take part in a ceremony that let them see the love that they shared and had already pledged themselves to for the rest of their lives.

Their car dropped them off at the edge of the park, at the entrance, and the couple arrived arm in arm as they walked to the gazebo in the corner of the park. Other than several satin white ribbons, no decorations were needed, as the gazebo was natural wood and the couple wanted the attention to be on the words, rather than the location. Under the covering, Judge Markway stood, and greeted the couple, and acted as more of an emcee than justice of the peace. He said a few words about the couple, shared a poem and then moved out of the way so that Kate and Rick could begin.

Kate held both of his hands, looked into Rick's eyes and began, "Rick, when I first met you, marrying you was the absolute last thing on my mind." The group chuckled at the memory. "But you were special, even then I could feel it. When I fell for you, I fell hard, but it took me a while to know I was ready for my life with you. I know that I made the right choice, and I plan to spend the rest of my life celebrating that choice with you by my side. I love you, Rick, and I couldn't think of a better partner in crime with whom to spend the rest of my life."

Rick reached and took his wife's left hand, and whispered, "I wanted to give you a little something for today." He pulled her rings from her finger, and added a simple platinum ring guard with a channel of small diamonds to complete her set, then slid them all back onto her ring finger. "Kate," Rick paused, the emotions threatening to overtake his voice.

"Shhh. It's ok, we're here together." Kate comforted him.

Rick nodded and smiled then continued, "Kate, I knew from the first day I met you, that you were special. I felt a zing of electricity the first time you touched my hand. We've faced so much together, and despite all those challenges, we're just getting started. I can't wait to wake up next to you each morning and face the day with you by my side. You are mine, as I am yours, and as long as I have your love, I want for nothing more. I love you, Kate.

The couple fell into a kiss, and allowed their mouths to open and enjoyed each other in the kiss, and the promise of more later. Kate reached up and rubbed his cheek softly, and then the couple turned and faced their family and friends, who were clapping and cheering for the happy couple.

The Old Haunt was closed for business that day, as Rick wanted his friends and family to take as much time as they wanted to celebrate. Toasts were made to the happy couple, Jim and Martha made a joint toast to welcome the other's child into the family. Alexis even made a toast, and welcomed Kate into the family…finally! Hors d'oeuvres were served, and drinks of the alcoholic and non-alcoholic variety were served.

The couple remained for an hour, then decided they were going to head to their honeymoon. They were cheered as they left, with whistles, calls of "have fun, but not too much fun!" and good hearted ribbing. They climbed into the back of the car Rick had hired, and they were off to their honeymoon.

The drive to the Hamptons was a relaxing time, as they were both able to stretch out in the back and just spend time together. The couple drew the privacy window, and engaged in some healthy kissing and touching, but refrained from any real heavy activity, until they reached the beach house.

Kate and Rick slept some of the way to the house, and Rick woke with Kate's legs across his lap, and his wife stroking his cheek softly, which she loved to do. "Rick, I was thinking." Kate began the conversation, "About work. Would you mind if I didn't go back right away?"

Rick grinned and drew her to him in a kiss before answering, "Babe, I would be more than fine with it. I want you to do what makes you happiest. I love you, Mrs. Castle."

"I love you too, Mr. Castle." Kate said with a smile.

"Did you have any ideas about what you want to do while you are away from the precinct?" Rick inquired.

"I thought I would merge our two places, and spend some time with my gorgeous, sexy, loving husband, and working together with you to make sure that those walls are long gone." Kate explained.

"Babe, that sounds perfect. I gave you my old heart, and my new heart is yours, as well. For always I'd be honored to spend time with my beautiful, sexy, smart, funny bride." Rick replied as he hugged Kate.

"And just look at us, we're here, together, and on our way for the rest of our lives." Kate said and relaxed into the rest of the ride.

To be continued...


	14. Chapter 14 -Epilogue

The Heart of the Matter

by LindaInDC

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction based on Castle, the ABC show, also owned by Andrew W. Marlowe and other cool, brilliant people. I do not own the characters, but have written this work with no intent to gain profit from it. It is for reading enjoyment only. The story, names and places are fictional, and any similarities to real persons, places and events are purely coincidental.

Thank you for reading, providing reviews and favoriting/following this story. You all are amazing. We have come to the end of this story. This started as a fragment of an idea and grew into something that reignited my love for these characters. The show is over but they can and will live on in fan fiction.

Note: July 24, 2016- this is not additional chapters in this update. I am just breaking down this one massive post into smaller ones allowing a chapter per page.

A great big note of thanks to Sass, who helped me with her magical doctor powers to square away the clinical side of this story. I wanted to do this justice, without writing a clinical textbook.

* * *

 **Epilogue**

 **Five Years Later**

"Babe?" Kate called out, as she had a tray of cupcakes balanced in each hand. "Can you go entertain the gang? It sounds like folks are getting restless out there."

"You got it." Rick said as he walked past, snatching one of the cupcakes from off the tray, which earned him a Kate Beckett raised eyebrow.

"Richard Castle, put that back!" She ordered him.

Grinning, he stood there, defiantly holding the dessert just out of reach, "Make me."

Kate grinned in a sexy snarl as she replied, "Babe, do you remember what we did last night? With my cuffs and the ice cubes…"

Rick smiled and closed his eyes, the memory instantly coming to his mind. "Oh yeah!" He nervously laughed, into a near giggle at the sexual exploits from the night before. His wife was an enthusiastic and creative lover, and he was willing for most anything with her.

Kate knew she had him, "Well, Babe, if you ever want that, or anything else to happen…"

Rick's eyes flew open. The cupcake easily forfeited at the potential to make love with his wife being taken away. "Here you go, no harm done." He placed it gently back on the tray.

She snickered at his enthusiasm. "Good boy. Now please get out there with them."

"Going now. Although you play dirty." Rick said teasingly as he opened the door and headed outside.

Kate watched him go out towards the pool area, and she slid over to the door leading to the backyard. The Hamptons were beautiful this time of year, and it was a perfect decision to come up. Striding through the door, Lanie took one of the trays from her and helped place them onto the table, which was decorated in bright pastel colors, dragons and rainbows.

"Remind me again why they love that TV show?" Kate sighed as she rolled her eyes at the colorful decorations.

Lanie laughed, "Because it stimulates their brains and keeps their attention. And besides, let's face it, if she said 'I want a pink rocket ship that sprays glitter, daddy', that man would move heaven and earth to make it happen."

Kate laughed as she looked over to the pool area, where she saw her husband playing with the small group of children. Under his arm, he had the guest of honor tucked in while he tickled her.

"I knew that he was a large child, but having her has made him even worse!" Kate laughed, thinking back to when she had told Rick that she was pregnant with their little girl, Isabella, over three years ago. "As soon as I told him, I swear he bought out a toy store."

"Some men are just natural fathers, and honey, you've got one of them." Lanie stated as she smiled.

"Oh no, Lanie, I have their leader!" Kate said with a laugh, and Lanie smacked her arm in jest.

The party guests were Kevin and Jenny Ryan and their twin girls, born just a year after they married. Jenny was about six months along with their third child, and Kevin was keeping the girls busy with a ball. Lanie and Espo had not married, but were together, and to everyone's surprise (Including Espo), they were expecting their first child in about five months. For practice, Javi had brought his cousin's two little girls and a boy, and he and Alexis were currently on the grass with them, helping them drive a remote control boat that was in the pool. Jim and Martha were inflating and tying balloons, giving them to the kids.

Lanie said, "OK, I think we are done here. Let me go get everyone coming this way."

Kate nodded, and looking up, caught Rick looking over at her, and he smiled. She held up her hand and motioned for him to come over. In a moment, he was standing beside his wife, kissing her on the lips, he said, "Hello, beautiful."

Smiling at him, Kate replied, "Hi there, handsome. Having fun?"

Rick nodded, "Oh yeah! It's so great to get everyone out here. And it's so great to have Bella's birthday party here, too. You know, next year, we're gonna have to get more tables."

Kate chuckled, "True, we'll have to look at space when picking part locations. The brood will be bigger, in size and number."

Rick bumped his hip into hers, "You know, I noticed something this year."

Kate was interested in his observation, "Oh? What's that, Babe?"

Rick looked around, as if to check if anyone were listening. "You are different than the others. The women, I mean, not counting Alexis or Mother."

With a straight face, Kate replied, "I'd hope so, otherwise, how could you tell us apart?"

"Ha, ha." Rick replied, "You're funny. I mean, that this year, you are the only one that's not pregnant. Guess it isn't really in the water, like the old myths thought, huh?"

"Really? Are you sure the water is alright? I mean, Jenny, Lanie and I each poured water from the same bottle. Maybe I should get it tested?" Kate teased.

"What, no. Totally a myth." Rick stated, "Right?"

Well, I was gonna mention it after the party, but I did get it tested. "Kate stated, "And I've got it, too. It looks like it's the water, after all. Well, either that or my extremely sexy, virile husband."

Rick stared at his wife, playing out the conversation in his head. "What?"

Kate turned and faced her husband, "I'm pregnant, Rick."

The writer stood there, the news not quite sunk in, just yet. "Huh?"

"Babe, we're having another child. Alexis and Bella are getting a baby brother or sister." Kate stated slowly.

"A baby?" He asked.

"Un huh." Kate replied.

"Us? You and me?" Rick asked.

"Well, unless there is another you and me standing around." Kate teased.

"We're having a baby? Why didn't you tell me?" Rick asked, joy filling his face.

"I just did." Kate answered, her smile growing as he caught on.

Rick grabbed Kate into his arms, hugging her tightly, lifting her up slightly off the ground. "Babe, this is amazing news. Thank you. Thank you!" Rick exclaimed as he beamed at the news. "We'll get you to the doctor as soon as we get home."

Kate's life had changed so much the last few years. She opened up her heart to a man who loved her and in return she now had him and his children. Rick faced life and death and came out the other side a stronger, happier person. From the time they met, his old heart was full of love, and even after the ups and downs, so was his new one.

FIN


End file.
